Authenticity Vs Inauthenticity

In 2010 Domino’s Pizza made a decision to come out and tell the truth about their Pizzas. They agreed that they tasted like cardboard.


In 1991 during a speech to the Institute of Directors, Gerald Ratner, the CEO of Ratner’s Jewellers said ‘People ask, “How can you sell this (earrings) for such a low price?” I say, “because it’s total crap.”’

In both instances the business world was shocked at the honesty. I would assume the shareholders had a ‘moment’ too. Wow! If some leaders could just fake authenticity they would be happy but, there IS no faking it. With Domino’s it’s a consumable but it was only a recipe issue, the quality is not in question, nobody was poisoned, nobody had their health compromised.

With Ratners it WAS purely a quality issue, the goods were not worth the money. Domino’s merely agreed with/confirmed what people had been saying. Ratner admitted something nobody knew for certain. Domino’s continues…Ratners went down the tube.

Authenticity is not an easy subject to tackle and wrestle to the ground. One needs to step outside of conventional thought on authenticity. It takes a lot of courage to discuss authenticity/inauthenticity as it lifts the lid on things we may keep hidden, knowingly or unknowingly. Taking part in this chat will certainly broaden our awareness of ourselves, as a Leader and as a person.

A superficial description of authentic is being real, genuine, the “real deal”, honest. Would you be as honest as Ratners or Domino’s? If your business made a monumental mistake, it’s all very well admitting this to your people but would you admit it to the world, your clients or SKYNEWS? How far does authenticity go before we have to make a stand and be, to all intents and purposes, Inauthentic because the outcome may determine that we cannot be authentic in that instance?

The definition I use of Authenticity is: Being and acting consistent with who you hold yourself out to be for others, and who you hold yourself out to be for yourself.

The central definition is ‘who you hold yourself out to be’. It is NOT your personality, not your thoughts, not your feelings and not social protocols…it is more a DECLARATION that you make, a stand you take on yourself, a commitment to a set of values.

Bill George, Harvard Business School Professor of Leadership and author said:
“After years of studying leaders and their traits, I believe that Leadership begins and ends with authenticity.”

The cold hard truth is that because of certain situations, with certain people, in some ways and at certain times we can all be Inauthentic. Because we avoid at all costs confronting our inauthenticity’s, we are consistently inauthentic about being inauthentic. Is it possible for a person to determine when they are being genuine?

Above all else, Authenticity is CENTRAL to leadership and to being a leader.
Are you authentic all the time? Even when NO ONE is watching?

 

Attitudes Are Contagious, Is Yours Worth Catching?

What do you see written here?...

Do you see ‘Opportunity is Nowhere’?
Good. If you like that sort of thinking…..But, do you know what is better? What you SHOULD be reading?

‘Opportunity Is Now Here!’

It’s your choice, you decide, your conscious and unconscious minds conspire to read whatever it thinks you want to read. If you are wired to see ‘nowhere’ then your attitude is going to stop you from seeing Opportunity all around you.

How important is attitude to a Leader? How important is attitude, period? Underlying EVERYTHING we do is attitude….How we do what we do, how we engage with people, how we see and plan the future (our own and our company) and what we takeaway from any situation.
Bad attitudes are infectious. One person in a company with a bad attitude can infect the entire team until one day everyone is sitting on the steps outside with their office in a cardboard box asking ‘what happened?’ Have you ever gone to a meeting, or a party, and thought, ‘this is going to be a total waste of time’? It was wasn’t it? You made it so. You pre-conditioned your mind.

Somewhere between starting school and getting our first set of business cards printed we lost the importance of attitude. We focus on learning, skills and ability. But great attitude is infectious too. It breeds other great attitudes.

Try this….My New Years gift to you?

I am going to take you away from your job for six months and let you stay all expenses paid on my private island. All meals, drinks, entertainment, expenses: all covered. How cool is that? Not just for you but for ALL your family. What a deal? Am I a great guy or what?

I am also going to pay you your salary…as long as you do ONE thing….

Place an advert in the newspaper for your replacement. They have to be good. They have to be BRILLIANT at being you for six months. If they mess up, share prices drop, staff go on strike or they are just hopeless in the role….it will be your fault and I am bringing you back to reality in 12 hours…1^st flight home (economy).

You have TEN words in this advert to describe what you do. Ten words that define what you do as a leader. Ten words that sum up the attributes that person must have to take over from you while you sunbathe and walk on that white beach and swim in that blue ocean.

Does your list look like a little like this one?

1. Conscientious
2. People person
3. Punctual
4. Good with numbers
5. Smart
6. Confident
7. Good listener
8. Decisive
9. Positive
10. Can train staff

That’s a list a group of insurance salespeople wrote on a whiteboard last month and it is almost identical to the list I always get.

Notice anything?

For one thing, the 80/20 principle.

8 out of the 10 attributes are clearly ATTITUDE!

The other two have a foot in both the attitude and the skill camps.

We teach SKILLS…we assume people bring great attitudes with them.

As a leader our attitude is the most important facet of our being. It is the Mindset of a great leader. It is a magnet for success.

MOVE!

Flow, like water...Be flexible...whoever has flexibility in a situation controls the situation....

but remember that as Leaders we must move forward, and keep moving...

and never, EVER, stop moving...

Is That A Pack of Dogs in my Boardroom/ Office/ Timeline?

If you are a Leader and you want to be followed blindly, without question, with obedience, servitude and adoration...get a DOG!

Friends are great.  Of course they are. And people who agree with you are good too, as long as they really mean it.... adoring sycophantic acolytes are to be avoided at all costs.

Why would you, a real leader, surround yourself with people who just blindly agree and nod their head at everything you say and do?  A group of people who, to all intents and purposes, are JUST LIKE YOU!

Why would you want a team or group of people who do nothing but blow sunshine up your ass?

Do you REALLY think that you will make ANY progress in life or business by having a support group around you who do nothing but tell you 'You're right!' or 'I agree!' or 'Fantastic idea!' and never EVER question you about ANYTHING?

How long before you start to think 'I wonder what they say when I am not around?'...'I wonder what they DO when I am not around?'  It won't be long before you start thinking that as soon as you shut that door or put the phone down, they all throw their heads back and laugh like maniacs.

It's not paranoia, it's human nature.  Surely there comes a time when all that ass kissing makes you think, 'Is this for real?'

I have always subscribed to the belief that if two people in your organization say the same things, do the same things, have the same opinions, think the same things, believe the same things...sack one of them....they are walking overhead!

What you need to do as a leader is mentor, drive, empower and teach your team how to fly. I am a believer in teaching people how to 'think different'.  In doing all of that, you are going to learn a lot from them as well as them learning from you. 

What the hell are you going to learn from a group of people who can't think for themselves and rely on you to give them an idea or a thought that they can agree with?

If you go through life surrounded by people blowing sunshine up your keister then you are going nowhere.  And it will not be long before you start to believe your own hype. 

Again, I quote Monty Pythons Life of Brian:
Brian: You are all individuals...
Lone Voice in Crowd: I'm not!

You need a group or a team of people with their own minds, own ideas, own brains, who interact, question, agree with you only when they really do agree with you, and are there to learn and to teach others (including you).

If nobody disagrees with you, questions your motives and ideas, or tells you 'thats a really bad idea' you are going to start believing that you can do no wrong and, guess what?  YOU CAN DO A LOT OF WRONG!!

There are a lot of tribes, clubs, cliques, communities, groups and teams who empower, enrich, push, mentor, drive and coach each other to do more, do better, and go further.  It is all down to the Leader encouraging that.

If you are part of a 'my way or the highway' collective....its a highway to nowhere....you deserve better!

Authentic Authenticity

AUTHENTICITY

Some people say that Authenticity is a big thing. I think it is bigger than we think.  In many cases it's the ONLY thing some people have.

An Authentic Leader is seen to be a beacon of hope, a strong example, an ethical person who does the right thing.  They are seen to be someone others aspire to be.  They are magnetic forces because others want to align with them for one or both of two reasons.

1. Trust

2. Hoping that some of the magic rubs off on them.

Having the strength to confront your inauthenticities is hard.  Some may say it's the hardest thing you can do because you are looking at yourself in a new way.  When you admit, to yourself and others, your inauthenticities then you are being AUTHENTIC about them.  Denying they exist is further compounding them.

"If you cannot find the courage to be authentic about your inauthenticities, you can forget about being a leader...The actionable access to authenticity is being authentic about your inauthenticities..."

At some point we are Inauthentic as well as being Authentic at other times.  Certainly, situations can determine who we are or what we say and do.  To be authentic we must discover and confront our inauthenticities.  We must also be honest, and tell the truth, to ourselves and others about when we are not being genuine (authentic).  But, how far do we go with that?

In 2010 Domino’s Pizza made a decision to come out and tell the truth about their Pizzas. They agreed that they tasted like cardboard.

In 1991 during a speech to the Institute of Directors, Gerald Ratner, the CEO of Ratner’s Jewellers said ‘People ask, "How can you sell these (earrings) for such a low price?” I say, "because it's total crap."’

In both instances the business world was shocked at the honesty. I would assume the shareholders had a ‘moment’ too. Wow! If some leaders could just fake authenticity they would be happy but, there IS no faking it. With Domino’s it’s a consumable but it was only a recipe issue, the quality is not in question, nobody was poisoned, nobody had their health compromised. With Ratners it WAS purely a quality issue, the goods were not worth the money . Domino’s continues…Ratners went down the tube.

Authenticity is not an easy subject to tackle and wrestle to the ground. One needs to step outside of conventional thought on authenticity. It takes a lot of courage to discuss authenticity/inauthenticity as it lifts the lid on things we may keep hidden, knowingly or unknowingly. Taking part in this chat will certainly broaden our awareness of ourselves, as a Leader and as a person.

A superficial description of authentic is being real, genuine, the “real deal”, honest. Would you be as honest as Ratners or Domino’s? If your business made a monumental mistake, it’s all very well admitting this to your people but would you admit it to the world, your clients or SKYNEWS? How far does authenticity go before we have to make a stand and be, to all intents and purposes, Inauthentic because the outcome may determine that we cannot be authentic in that instance? 

The definition I use of Authenticity is: Being and acting consistent with who you hold yourself out to be for others, and who you hold yourself out to be for yourself.

The central definition is ‘who you hold yourself out to be’. It is NOT your personality, not your thoughts, not your feelings and not social protocols…it is more a DECLARATION that you make, a stand you take on yourself, a commitment to a set of values.

Bill George, Harvard Business School Professor of Leadership and author said:
“After years of studying leaders and their traits, I believe that Leadership begins and ends with authenticity.”

The cold hard truth is that because of certain situations, with certain people, in some ways and at certain times we can all be Inauthentic. Because we avoid at all costs confronting our inauthenticity’s, we are consistently inauthentic about being inauthentic. What if you find yourself discussing ‘How does a person determine when they are being genuine?’

Above all else, Authenticity is CENTRAL to leadership and to being a leader.

Are you authentic all the time? Even when NO ONE is watching? 

If you are Authentic, or if you are aware that you are Inauthentic sometimes, then you have a very great chance of being an exceptional leader.

Belief Vs Reality

The following post is about a completely different area of Beliefs. It forms part of the new HPT TRANSFORMATION course and in some cases may seem to contradict what we normally believe. This post is about what we really Believe. Our core beliefs. 

IS YOUR BELIEF A REALITY?

Beliefs are, in the majority of cases, a lie. They are not the truth. The truth has to be experienced. Unless we have experienced something, it is not real.

Sometimes, the truth is so believable; people usually just believe it instead of experiencing it.

Everyone has a belief system. These systems were formed when we were children.

Here are a few you may recognize:

· Dad goes to work and Mum stays home to look after the kids.

· If you’re good you go to heaven.

· You must eat up your greens.

· You must eat three square meals a day.

· Love is never having to say you are sorry.

· Hard work is good for you.

· You will never be tall unless you stand up straight

· You will never amount to anything unless you work hard.

It is probably a result of our ingrained beliefs about what a relationship should be, as opposed to the reality of the actuality of a relationship that has resulted in the high divorce rate.

When we separate what we BELIEVE from what we EXPERIENCE we will begin to run our lives, but not before.

The problem with a belief is that we take it to be the truth. That’s fine if you imprint a belief in your mind that you will achieve, you can do it, you will attain success….but we have thousands of other beliefs that do not serve us. Those ‘other’ beliefs are detrimental and if we take THEM to be the truth we could get stuck in them.

In other words most of us persist in thinking and doing what we learnt long ago, rather than acting out of our experience in response to whatever is happening now.

A classic story illustrates this point:

A man watches his wife cutting an inch off the end of the Lamb bone before putting it in the oven to roast. After watching her do this a few times before, her husband asks her why. She tells him that her mother always did it that way. A few weeks later the husband asks his Mother-In-Law why she cuts an inch off the end of the lamb bone. She tells him, “My mother always did it that way.” The Grandmother is very old, in her 90’s, and when the husband and wife visit her one day he asks her the same question. “Your granddaughter, and your daughter, cut an inch off the end of the lamb bone before they put the lamb in the oven. They do it because you always did. Why did you do that?”

The old lady looks at the husband and says, “Well, in those days, I had a very small oven and the leg of lamb wouldn’t fit unless I cut an inch off the end of the bone!”

Most people are cutting an inch off the end of something in their lives to fit into an oven that’s no longer too small for it.

Most people are stuck in a melodramatic soap opera of their lives with the same four or five problems they have always had. The bigger problem is that they continue with beliefs that have been carved into their minds since childhood and they are the reason they keep repeating the behaviour.

Here is a frightening example:
 

You trip over when you are five years old and cut your knee and your mother says, 'Don't cry; crying is bad," so you don't cry. Then you have a fall while skiing when you are 17 and you break your leg but you keep a stiff upper lip and you don't cry because crying is bad. Then when you are 24 you break up with your boyfriend or girlfriend, and you really thought that they were 'the one' and you STILL don't cry.
 

The more you repress your feelings the more your consciousness shuts down. You become barely alive. You act like a zombie. You function mechanically and get a reputation as 'a bit of a cold fish'.

The reality is that as you function mechanically more and more, in some cases, you become successful at it. Here's a reality check: Mechanical success is not any more satisfying than failure.

I took my psychology training years ago and therapy has always been concerned with the way people are run, or how they function, by what was rather than what is and how to free people from their past. That never sat comfortably with me. I know hundreds of people who trained just like me and never questioned it.
 

There are 2 reasons they didn't question it:

1. FEAR! As in: 'Don't make waves....if you question it they will flunk you.'

and

2. Cut the end of the bone off the Leg of Lamb! 
 

What do I mean by that? Think about it. 
 

That's right: It has ALWAYS been done that way, so there must be a good reason for it.
 

How does HPT (Human Potential Transformation) differ from Therapy? Therapy is concerned with curing people of an 'illness' whereas HPT offers people an experience of themselves, and the ability to design a future.

It is evident from my travels and studies, and from the Transformational Change work I have done in the last two years which, I admit, has become more extreme and direct, that Belief Systems are, by and large, a myth.

Belief Systems are created by knowledge or data without experience.

If you experience something, it is real for you.

If you communicate it to somebody, it is real for them because you are expressing your experience.

If they tell it to someone else, it's a lie. It is merely a belief without the component of experience.

 

A belief is a very powerful thing. You can kill or you can cure with one. I have earned my living for many years training people to believe in themselves, which is a good thing. You CAN believe in yourself because you have the experience of yourself, you are your own reality. I can prove to you, from my beliefs, that what I think and see is true.

 

I ask people what they expect to get out of the training program and the list can be very diverse. Some say they want to get to know themselves, some say they want to make better decisions, have more self confidence, be more decisive, fall in love, be more open, sell more product, be a better leader or manager....

 

What they ALL have in common is a set of expectations!

 

They truly believe that their happiness is dependant on more love, money, power, sex, self confidence, etc. Each has a belief system that relates satisfaction to something they are striving for.

 

The REALITY is that their happiness is a function of accepting what is, and make it separate from what was and what is to come.

 

Belief is a structure which can contain very little information in terms of making it useful in your consciousness or well-being.

 

HPT works on Observation and not Belief. Observation has nothing to do with the senses, perceptions or belief systems. It only deals with direct experience...REALITY.

 

One of the core HPT Observations is that Life can be considered to be three foot long, and the first two feet eleven inches are about the material aspects of life (food,clothing and shelter) and what's known as 'psychological needs'. You need someone to love you and someone you can love back. You need self esteem, recognition and respect from others.

 

After people fill their needs they start to look what it MEANS to fill their needs. They start to realize that there is no true satisfaction in just filling your needs and they look beyond that. And THAT is the last inch. THAT is what HPT is all about.

 

It is the last inch, that has been cut off the bone again and again. That Inch is the life changer.


That last inch is where we discover TRANSFORMATION.

The Belief Filter - the Negative side

Your belief is conditioned by your perception of the world around you.

That perception is from information that your brain filters through from the world and presents to you in a form you can understand. Filters do exactly what they say they do. They filter. The brain obeys the filters it imposes and this, in turn, constructs the reality around you.

Your perception of the world is put together by the information the filters allow.

Let’s have an example of this.

How many times have you lost your keys? You’ve put them down somewhere but where are they? You have no idea. So you go on the usual well tried route around the house. Search and find. Hallway, kitchen, dining room, bathroom, bedroom, lounge. Nothing!

What do you do next? You go on the same route but with more energy! Again, still no joy. Nothing! They have disappeared. In comes your partner, or flatmate.

“What are you doing?” they ask.

“I’ve lost my keys,” you tell them, “Where have you put them?”

(Apportioning blame seems to make some people feel better!)

Why is it, after you have told someone you have lost something, that they can look in a place you have checked three times and find what it was you were looking for?

It’s because their mind is tuned in to finding rather than losing.

You, on the other hand, say to yourself: “I’ve lost my keys, I’ve lost my keys!” and embark upon this manic search.

You could walk past the table your keys are lying on and your eyes say to you, “They’re on the table.” You say to yourself, “I’ve lost my keys.” Your brain says, “Ok then, you’re the boss!” and goes with you, not your eyes.

It refuses the information your eyes give it.

You go on the circuit. No joy! You go on the circuit again and, as you pass the table with your keys, your eyes say, “On the table, on the table!” but you ignore it, believing that your keys are lost.

Your eyes see the keys and say to your brain 'There they are'. The process is: key’s -eyes - eyes - brain. In the brain is the Reticular Activating System. This decides what comes in and what stays out. Your eyes spot the keys and tells your Brain but the RAS says, “Ssshh! The keys are lost!” This is your filter. Your eyes say 'Oh OK then, let's do another circuit' and off you go again.

Think about when you buy a car. Say for instance you decide to buy a brand new Arctic Silver Range Rover Sport series. And why not? What happens when you start to drive around in it? What do you see in front of you, in your rear view mirror and coming the other way? Range Rover Sports! Everywhere. They are all over the place.

Now you have got one, your mind says, “Look over there, there’s one. Look, there’s another!” Now you have one, your mind starts to filter in the information. Before you bought one you were under the impression that there weren’t many around so your brain believed it. Now you have one, your mind is open for information and here it is!

Belief is a make or break. It can shape your destiny or destroy it. Belief in yourself is the most important factor in the make up of success. Belief in what you do is the overriding factor in whether or not you are successful. Strength of mind and purpose is the main ingredient in your battle with the odds. If the odds are stacked against you, belief is the one thing that will carry you through.

Has Your Reality Check Bounced?

IS YOUR BELIEF A REALITY?

Beliefs are, in the majority of cases, a lie. They are not the truth.  The truth has to be experienced. Unless we have experienced something, it is not real.

Sometimes, the truth is so believable; people usually just believe it instead of experiencing it.

Everyone has a belief system.  These systems were formed when we were children.

Here are a few you may recognize:

·         Dad goes to work and Mum stays home to look after the kids.

·         If you’re good you go to heaven.

·         You must eat up your greens.

·         You must eat three square meals a day.

·         Love is never having to say you are sorry.

·         Hard work is good for you.

·         You will never be tall unless you stand up straight

·         You will never amount to anything unless you work hard.

 

It is probably a result of our ingrained beliefs about what a relationship should be, as opposed to the reality of the actuality of a relationship that has resulted in the high divorce rate.

When we separate what we BELIEVE from what we EXPERIENCE we will begin to run our lives, but not before.

The problem with a belief is that we take it to be the truth.  That’s fine if you imprint a belief in your mind that you will achieve, you can do it, you will attain success….but we have thousands of other beliefs that do not serve us.  Those ‘other’ beliefs are detrimental and if we take THEM to be the truth we could get stuck in them.

In other words most of us persist in thinking and doing what we learnt long ago, rather than acting out of our experience in response to whatever is happening now.

A classic story illustrates this point:

A man watches his wife cutting an inch off the end of the Lamb bone before putting it in the oven to roast.  After watching her do this a few times before, her husband asks her why.  She tells him that her mother always did it that way.  A few weeks later the husband asks his Mother-In-Law why she cuts an inch off the end of the lamb bone.  She tells him, “My mother always did it that way.”  The Grandmother is very old, in her 90’s, and when the husband and wife visit her one day he asks her the same question. “Your granddaughter, and your daughter, cut an inch off the end of the lamb bone before they put the lamb in the oven. They do it because you always did. Why did you do that?”

The old lady looks at the husband and says, “Well, in those days, I had a very small oven and the leg of lamb wouldn’t fit unless I cut an inch off the end of the bone!”

Most people are cutting an inch off the end of something in their lives to fit into an oven that’s no longer too small for it.

Most people are stuck in a melodramatic soap opera of their lives with the same four or five problems they have always had.  The bigger problem is that they continue with beliefs that have been carved into their minds since childhood and they are the reason they keep repeating the behaviour.

Here is a frightening example:

You trip over when you are five years old and cut your knee and your mother says, 'Don't cry; crying is bad," so you don't cry.  Then you have a fall while skiing when you are 17 and you break your leg but you keep a stiff upper lip and you don't cry because crying is bad.  Then when you are 24 you break up with your boyfriend or girlfriend, and you really thought that they were 'the one' and you STILL don't cry.

The more you repress your feelings the more your consciousness shuts down.  You become barely alive.  You act like a zombie.  You function mechanically and get a reputation as 'a bit of a cold fish'.

 

The reality is that as you function mechanically more and more, in some cases, you become successful at it.  Here's a reality check: Mechanical success is not any more satisfying than failure.

 

I took my psychology training years ago and therapy has always been concerned with the way people are run, or how they function, by what was rather than what is and how to free people from their past.  That never sat comfortably with me.  I know hundreds of people who trained just like me and never questioned it. 

 

There are 2 reasons they didn't question it:

1. FEAR! As in: 'Don't make waves....if you question it they will flunk you.'

and

2. Cut the end of the bone off the Leg of Lamb! 

 

What do I mean by that?  Think about it.  

 

That's right:  It has ALWAYS been done that way, so there must be a good reason for it.

How does HPT (Human Potential Transformation) differ from Therapy?  Therapy is concerned with curing people of an 'illness' whereas HPT offers people an experience of themselves, and the ability to design a future.

 

It is evident from my travels and studies, and from the Transformational Change work I have done in the last two years which, I admit, has become more extreme and direct, that Belief Systems are, by and large, a myth.

 

Belief Systems are created by knowledge or data without experience.

 

If you experience something, it is real for you.

If you communicate it to somebody, it is real for them because you are expressing your experience.

If they tell it to someone else, it's a lie.  It is merely a belief without the component of experience.

 

A belief is a very powerful thing.  You can kill or you can cure with one.  I have earned my living for many years training people to believe in themselves, which is good.  You CAN believe in yourself because you have the experience of yourself, you are your own reality.  I can prove to you, from my beliefs, that what I think and see is true.

 

I ask people what they expect to get out of the training program and the list can be very diverse. Some say they want to get to know themselves, some say they want to make better decisions, have more self confidence, be more decisive, fall in love, be more open, sell more product, be a better leader or manager....

 

What they ALL have in common is a set of expectations!

 

They truly believe that their happiness is dependant on more love, money, power, sex, self confidence, etc.  Each has a belief system that relates satisfaction to something they are striving for.

 

The REALITY is that their happiness is a function of accepting what is, and make it separate from what was and what is to come.

 

Belief is a structure which can contain very little information in terms of making it useful in your consciousness or well-being.

 

HPT works on Observation and not Belief.  Observation has nothing to do with the senses, perceptions or belief systems. It only deals with direct experience...REALITY.

 

One of the core HPT Observations is that Life can be considered to be three foot long, and the first two feet eleven inches are about the material aspects of life (food,clothing and shelter) and what's known as 'psychological needs'. You need someone to love you and someone you can love back. You need self esteem, recognition and respect from others.

 

After people fill their needs they start to look what it MEANS to fill their needs.  They start to realize that there is no true satisfaction in just filling your needs and they look beyond that.  And THAT is the last inch.  THAT is what HPT is all about.

 

It is the last inch, that has been cut off the bone again and again.  That Inch is the life changer. 

That last inch is where we discover TRANSFORMATION.

Dreamer, nothing but a dreamer

Roger Hodgson of Supertramp coined that phrase and what is wrong with that? It's a very good thing to be.

As I sit here with a mug of coffee, black, two sugars, stirred anti-clockwise (it improves the flavour) my mind wanders off. I'm not concerned, It's nothing unusual. It does that sometimes but it never strays far and it always comes back.

My mind is thinking of a hundred, a thousand, things at once. I get a bit of a glazed look on my face (not good when driving) and some people look at me and ask 'What ARE you thinking?' or the classic one; 'Penny for them!' A penny? They are worth more than that! People who really know me take no notice. They just wait to find out what direction I am now going to go in thanks to the thought.

I am a dreamer. A Day Dreamer. I think deeply and day dream. There is nothing wrong with that.

We have voices in our heads that tell us to do things. That is called THINKING. Part of my training program means I ask groups of people 'Do you have a voice in your head that tells you to do things?' A few people sit there and look at the ceiling and mouth the words 'do I?'

If people don't put their hands up I usually tell them 'The voice I am talking about is the one that said "voice in my head? Woah! I am NOT putting my hand up for that one!"

(I once asked a group of people if anyone had a phobia about putting their hand up in public. One person put their hand up! - Unbelievable. You can't make this stuff up!)

If you dream at night you will be very lucky to remember it next morning. Well, you remember the bad ones, the nightmares.

People often say to me; "I can't imagine doing what you do, even in my wildest dreams!" Well, if you can't imagine doing it in your wildest dreams, how are you going to do it for real?

Dreaming during the day is just an extension of thinking. It's giving your imagination some time to wander around to see what it comes up with.

T.E Lawrence (of Arabia) wrote a book called 'The Seven Pillars of Wisdom' and in it he wrote the following....
"All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes, to make it possible."

If you imagine it, dream it, see it...then you will achieve it. Naturally you have to take some action to get it but if you see it in your mind, you will receive it. Dream it, and do it.

If you think I am alone in that thought then let's leave the final word to the late, great, John Lennon;

"You may say I'm a dreamer, But I'm not the only one.

I hope some day you will join us, When the world will be as one."

Imagine!

BELIEF! Have you got it?

What's the Difference that MAKES the Difference?

To me it's got to be attitude. That self assuredness, that energy, that belief that no matter what happens, no matter what obstacles appear, you will achieve what you want to achieve.

People always look for cop outs. Excuses. They have a but!
You need to KICK THOSE BUTS Out of your vocabulary now!

"I could have done that...BUT!"
"I would have done that...BUT!"
"I should have done that...BUT!"

That's the old 'coulda, woulda, shoulda' scenario. At the heart of that scenario is another word. 'Didna'.

I know that if you have the right attitude you can achieve anything. Your BELIEFS will determine whether yo get what you want.

I use myself as an example.

• I have an air of uninsultability. I don't care what people say about me. Why should I? They don't know what they are talking about! They must get my name right though!
• I decide where my energy goes, nobody else.
• Everything people say or do to me is energy, and it's just a toy for me to play with.
• I don't take anything that people say to me at first to be written in stone. In other words, what people say first can be changed.
• Nothing in life has any meaning except the meaning I give it.
• I never hate people who are obviously jealous of me. I respect their jealousy because they must think I am better than them or they want to be me!
• 90% of people are running on autopilot 90% of the time
• If I am told something can't be done it's because the person telling me doesn't know how to do it. So I go and do it.

It is also important to think different. A case in point.

I had a conversation the other day regarding work. Someone was looking for a change of career. It seemed that working from home might be better than going out to work. I made a quick suggestion.

"What about some form of MLM? Multi Level Marketing is booming. You could get on the vitamin and herbal remedy market. There are a lot of companies looking for people to sell products and you could have vitamin evenings and sell the products at home to people who come around for the evening party?"

What was the response...? Well...objection.....?

Before I tell you the response/ objection let me reframe it....

Throughout my career I have advised people on what to do for a business venture, in what to sell, and how to sell. In all of those areas I get the same response as I got here. The same! What amazes me is how the same reply from me always makes them realises what a stupid, dumbass objection it is...

The response/ objection?...

"Do you know how many companies there are out there selling that?"

Duh! Yes I do. Maybe not to the exact figure but I can hazard a guess...

My reply?

"Do you know how many people there are out there buying that stuff?"

Simple. There are millions of people out there. BILLIONS of people in the world. Are you telling me that they are ALL buying from these companies. No. They are not.

Advertising either works or it doesn't. If it didn't work then people wouldn't advertise.

I had someone tell me once, 'I don't advertise because I know it won't work!'
I told them, 'You know when you will realise that it does? In a years time when you place an advertisement that says 'Business for Sale', THAT is when you will realise advertising works!'

We all know Louis Vuitton, Bentley, Rolls Royce, Rolex, Breitling and all manner of stuff that we desire and /or buy. Why do they advertise? Why do they HAVE to advertise? Because it works.

Then I got this...

"If people want things like that then they would just go down to the supermarket and buy them."

No WAY! People have to be TOLD what to buy. They have to be given options.

That's why you sell someone a years supply rather than a months.

What's more, selling things on the Internet or at home is designed to undercut the big stores as well as the small exclusive ones. These MLM companies market stuff that you cannot buy in stores. The opportunity is there!

It's a matter of doing things Differently. Thinking Differently. Selling Differently. Being Different. And that's the difference that MAKES the difference!

If you let NOTHING get in the way of your target, nothing get in the way of your dream and nothing get in the way of achieving what you want then nothing will.

You have to change your beliefs, change your attitude and change your mind set.

You must not let anything get in your way.

Here's an example...This is someone who never let anything get in their way, never let anything stop them, adapted situations to suit and changed themselves...they know the meaning of the difference that makes the difference.

The man is Chaim Weitz.

Though he is from a Hungarian family he was born in Isreal and his Mother took him, at the age of 8, to live in America even though he was unable to speak English.

When older he made money selling comic books at conventions. He learnt to speak English, German and Hebrew as well as his native Hungarian and taught in schools in America under the name Gene Klein.

A few years later he picked up a guitar, changed his name to Gene Simmons and morphed into the guy in the pic at the top of this blog!

If he can achieve a personal metamorphosis like that...anything is possible. That's the Difference that MAKES the Difference!

10 Lessons from Sara Blakelys Rise to 1 billion

10 Lessons from Sara Blakelys Rise to
1 billion dollars

By Kathy Caprino @kathycaprino  @Forbes

For further information please click here: http://www.spanx.com/corp/index.jsp?page=sarasStory&clickId=sarasstory_aboutsara_text

1) Fail Big – Sara’s beloved father followed Wayne Dyer’s guidance in teaching his children the power of failing big. Each day, her father would ask – “So, what did you fail at today.” And if there were no failures, Dad would be disappointed. Focusing on failing big allowed Sara to understand that failure is not an outcome, but involves a lack of trying — not stretching yourself far enough out of your comfort zone and attempting to be more than you were the day before. Failing big was a good thing.
2) Visualize it – Sara is a big fan of “visualizing” your big goal, in specific, concrete ways. She saw herself clearly on the Oprah TV show 15 years before it happened. She simply knew it would happen. She’d see in her mind’s eye sitting on the couch with Oprah having an exciting conversation, and wondered, “What are we talking about?” The rest was just “filling in the blanks” to get there.
3) Don’t share your fragile idea with the world too soon. Sara kept her idea of making a fabulous new undergarment for women under wraps for an entire year while working on developing the prototype. Only after she was 100% committed to it and ready to launch, did she sit her friends down and explain her new direction. Sara explains that ideas are vulnerable, fragile things. Wait until you’re completely read to move forward before you share it with people. Meaning well, they’ll shoot it down, offering all the reasons why it won’t work. But when they do, you’ll be ready to deal with it.
4) Don’t take no for an answer. Sara reached out to slews of manufacturers and lawyers to help her patent her idea and create a successful prototype. In every conversation she had with potential manufacturers, she was asked three questions: 1) Who are you? 2) Who are you with? 3) and Who is backing you? When the answers to these three questions remained, “Sara Blakely,” no one wanted to take a chance on her, until one manufacturer called her back and said “OK.” Why? Because he had gone home and told his daughters about the idea, and they said, “It’s brilliant!”
5) Hire people you like and trust (even if they don’t know a great deal about what you need them to do). Sara hired a head of Product Development and a PR director who had been friends and supporters from the beginning. Neither knew anything about the functional areas they were hired to oversee, but Sara trusted they’d be fabulous at their new roles, and they were.
6) You don’t have to go in order. Sara’s passionate commitment to her new Spanx product was so fierce, she just tackled each task in the development and marketing journey as they came up, not necessarily in the best order for a smooth launch. She landed a Neiman Marcus deal involving placement of the product in seven stores, before figuring out how to mass produce “crotches” for the product. The Oprah show called to do a feature on her in a staff meeting in her “offices” before she had an office or a staff. She winged it, and it all went well.
7) You CAN figure it out – you have the ability. Sara knew absolutely nothing about women’s undergarments, patenting a new product, manufacturing, marketing, product development, website development, online commerce, and more. But that didn’t stop her. She researched what she needed to, hired out what she couldn’t do, and marched forward with undying commitment and energy. Don’t stop yourself from pursuing an idea because you don’t think you have what it takes.
8) You can build a billion dollar business starting with $5,000. Sara had only $5,000 in savings on that fateful day when she cut the feet off of her stockings in order to wear them under her white pants for a more flattering look (and thus, realized the world needed a new undergarment product that would be comfortable yet flattering to the female form). From that $5,000 she embarked on designing a prototype, securing a manufacturer, naming the product, legally protecting her product, and getting the word out to potential buyers. You don’t have to be rich to move forward with your fabulous new idea.
9) Don’t worry about the outer “stuff” until the time is right. Sara worked tirelessly from her apartment creating her product, avoiding investing in outside office space or other marketing and business tools until the product had taken off. She didn’t have a formal website until she made it on the Oprah show and needed one. Anything that wasn’t essential to building the product and getting the name out there simply wasn’t a priority.
10) Breaking the mold is a good thing. When Sara began to research undergarments for women and how they’d been made for the last 50 years, she was astonished. From the absurd sizing protocols (only one average waist measure was used on all the products, regardless of the size of the garment), to how products were tested (on manikins not real people), Sara saw that the undergarment industry needed a female perspective – insights from a real woman wearing these items to shape the product development direction so the products were useful, effective, and as comfortable as possible. She broke the mold, and developed a completely new approach to developing women’s undergarments.
Sara’s most important tip:
“Believe in your idea, trust your instincts, and don’t be afraid to fail. It took me two years from the time I had the idea for Spanx until the time I had a product in hand ready to sell into stores. I must have heard the word “no” a thousand times. If you believe in your idea 100%, don’t let anyone stop you! Not being afraid to fail is a key part of the success of Spanx.”
In the end, Sara Blakely’s story shows us what’s possible when we believe, when we’re resourceful beyond measure, and when our passion and commitment to something outside ourselves brings us to a calling.
What are you most afraid of failing at? Will you get in the cage with your fears and take a step toward your dream today?

Belief! Sara Blakely failed her way to one billion dollars! SPANX

If EVER there is a story that embodies BELIEF then this is it!  Thanks to Roger James Hamilton

 

How Sara Blakely lost her way to a billion dollars: 8 years ago Sara lost in the finale of Richard Branson’s reality TV show “Rebel Billionaire”. The loss was one of many that turned Sara into the world’s youngest self-made female billionaire...

Sara’s entire life has been about failure. She says “My dad encouraged us to fail. Growing up, he would ask us what we failed at that week. If we didn't have something, he would be disappointed. It changed my mindset at an early age that failure is not the outcome, failure is not trying. Don't be afraid to fail.”

In the 1990s Sara became an expert in failure by selling fax machines (remember those?) and was often so terrified of meeting prospects she would burst into tears and drive around the block to calm down before her sales calls.

Overheating from the stress of it, she decided to cut the feet off her pantyhose to cool down. That was her ‘aha’ moment. As she says “When I cut the feet out of my pantyhose that one time, I saw it as my sign.” She decided to start a business to sell the footless pantyhose in 1998 with just $5,000 - all of her savings - and called the company “Spanx”.

Did the failure stop then? No - “When I invented Spanx I heard 'no' for two years. It didn't faze me. I didn't have a special ability, it was sheer drive and telling myself to keep going.”

FAILING BIG

Working from her kitchen, she made a push for publicity, which simply means your failure becomes more public. For example, her experience with the English: “On the BBC, I was asked what Spanx could do for women in the U.K. I said, 'It smoothes and separates your fanny.' The interviewer looked mortified. I had no idea what was going on, so I kept rambling on about fannies until he stopped me and said, 'I think you mean bum.' The word fanny means vagina in England.”

Her publicity led her to Oprah and Richard Branson’s “Rebel Billionaire” in 2005. She ended up losing that too, but the show gave her a chance to realise what she really wanted to do with her future success - Start a charity for women. Branson gave her $750,000 to start her charity, the Sarah Blakely Foundation, to support women leaders.

What happens when your failure rate goes up? Your luck rate goes up too.

To face her failures, Sara had luck on her back - literally!

“I found my lucky red backpack from college in my mom's attic and became determined that it was going to change my path for Spanx because I kept hearing no, no, no. It went with me every step of the way, to the point of being made fun of because I went to Neiman Marcus headquarters with this old backpack as my presentation bag. Now, with the Sarah Blakely Foundation, every woman we send to college or help start a business receives a lucky red backpack. They're usually more excited about that than the money, which I totally get. The backpack is a symbol of their potential.”

THE BIGGEST RISK

This year Sara Blakely became the youngest female Billionaire in the world, with Spanx generating over $250 million in annual revenue. Sara puts this down to her sheer determination:

"The biggest risk in life is not risking. Every risk you take in life is in direct proportion to the reward. If I'm afraid of something, it's the next thing I have to go do. That's just the way I've been."

What are your big dreams? Where are your greatest risks?

Get your own lucky charm on your back, cut off the feet of whatever is holding you back, turn on the music and take the path that Sara took.

Today, 41 year-old Sara makes many speeches to inspire other entrepreneurs, and even the song she uses to get in her zone is the anthem to failure. As she says - “Eminem's 'Lose Yourself' is my go-to song to pump myself up if I'm having a tough time or if I get really nervous right before a speech.”

Now that she’s a billionare, her mission is “World Butt Domination” through Spanx and supporting women through her foundation, which has donated $17.5 million to charities supporting girls and women in South Africa.

Her failure has meant her wealth has come with humility, which is a different kind of wealth: “I feel like money makes you more of who you already are. If you’re an a**hole, you become a bigger a**hole. If you’re nice, you become nicer. Money is fun to make, fun to spend and fun to give away.”

Use Sara's story to inspire your day: Lose yourself and win the game.

Dynamic-Transformation / Building Your Future

Dynamic-Transformation is a different thing entirely from change.  It doesn't take the past and change it, add to it or re-organise it.  It creates a new context.  Possibilities that didn't exist now come into being.  The future is built on possibility.  The future is constant. 

If we carry our past with us into the future, we are limiting the amount of space we have in our future because it is taken up with the past we bring into it.  If what we have in our future is our past, our future is going to be consistent with what we had in our past.

If we can take the past OUT of our future, we create an empty space which we can fill with all manner of possibilities and opportunities that are not governed or linked to any past activity. If you do not empty out your past from your future right now then all you are doing is changing your past.

Childhood experiences that have been traumatic.  It can be one experience that was big enough to be traumatic, or a series of experiences.

An example would be: If you have been bullied at school, it's probably not the one time but more likely a period of bullying over time.  That begins to shape who you are, and who you need to be, to become, to survive.  You can't do much at the time about that but you have to do something to defend yourself.  And that leads you into continuing to be that person who has built up defence mechanisms to deal with bullying but at some point you have to find a way to take that past OUT of your future and put it back IN the past.

We all have excess baggage.  We carry it around in our heads.  It's there even when we don't see it.
We are concerned about excess baggage when we go on vacation.  We don't want it then, so we weigh our bags to make sure we are below the requirement.  Trouble is, we carry it around at all other times.

At any given moment of any given day, we reference the excess baggage for information.  Even worse than that, we carry it into our future.  We expect to be able to function and plan and build strategies for a brighter future when we carry our past around with us.

I am not talking about forgetting your past, or where you come from, or your history, or the people in it...

I am talking about today being the day when you stop paying for your bags of excess baggage, and go forward with your hands open to grasp the opportunities that will come your way.

You CANNOT grab opportunity if your hands are full!!

We human beings don't leave the past in the past.  We have the past in the future. When you do that it appears as if the past gives you who you are, and who you are in the present.

Lets imagine the past and the future as two filing cabinets.

If you take the past out of the filing cabinet marked FUTURE, and put it in the filing cabinet marked PAST, what have you got in the FUTURE?  NOTHING!  Which is wonderful. Fantastic!!!!

Why?

Because if, WHO I AM in the present, is determined by the future into which I am living, I can CREATE a future for myself that gives me, in the present, a life of being, joy, happiness, accomplishment...a life worth living.

I will be launching the Dynamic-Transformation Seminar dates soon....and at the seminar you will discover just HOW to empty that future filing cabinet, HOW to take the past out of your future and HOW to free up the potential for your future self.

Undercover Boss Vs Visible Leader

Whether it is a failing of mine or not, I had never seen a program called 'Undercover Boss' before. I had heard of it, but had never sat thru an episode to see what it was all about.

To be quite frank, I thought it was about the head of a company going to look at OTHER companies, the competition, to see what they were doing. That may sound ludicrous to many people reading this but in Sales, that happens. Maybe not the Boss but certainly sometimes you get someone come along answering an advertisement for staff and you take them on, train them up, give them all manner of resources like pitches and details about the company, even so far as giving them access to databases and then, one day...they are gone! They never show up again. They don't write, call or send flowers. It was a scouting trip. A reconnaissance mission for information.  It happens and is an occupational hazard.

I heard a story once of someone who had done just that.  They had arrived at an advertising company in London and had told them they had experience so their training was minimal. This was a spy from another ad agency.  They got a desk and a phone.  They started work.  During the first few days they got all the paperwork and all the information. In fact, they stayed there for two weeks because they had made a few sales and the company paid weekly by check, which the salespeople took to the companies bank and cashed them by arrangement..  On the Friday, once they had cashed their check, they decided to bail out.  They had taken paperwork home the night before and had everything on a memory stick.  They gave some excuse about going to Starbucks to get a coffee.  Suddenly, EVERYONE in the sales room wanted coffee. The order ended up as 9 cappuccino, 6 Latte, 5 Americano.  So another guy went with the spy to Starbucks.  Naturally, everyone paid up first.  Average coffee price in the UK: £2.50/ £3.00.  Many of the salespeople handed over a £5 note and expected change when they got back.  The two guys, the Spy and his helper, went to Starbucks with over £80 in cash.

Naturally, when they got to Starbucks the Spy gave the helper the paper with the order on it and went to the mensroom.  Never to be seen again.  He got the paperwork, the information, he got paid in cash and he got an £80 tip in cash.  The salespeople are STILL waiting for their coffee.

So with that in mind, going undercover, calling up other companies for information, sending an agent behind enemy lines, it all happens in the UK.

I was amazed at 'Undercover Boss' because this is the head of a company, and I admit that some of them are quite large, going undercover in their OWN company.

I can't believe that they could, even with make up and a disguise. pull this off.  What struck me more than that was this....

Why would you need to go 'undercover' in your own company to find out who, what, where, when and why about your business?

When I was the Sales Manager and the National Sales Trainer for Cable London/ Telewest/ Comcast I was never in my office.  I went out and saw people, I pitched up in offices and found a desk and a phone and worked there.  I got a feel for everything.  I was approached all the time, I was known, I was visible.

I couldn't have gone 'Undercover' no matter WHAT the disguise. 

The reason?  I think the clue is in the title.  Undercover BOSS!

Leaders cannot work undercover.  They can't function undercover.  Leaders lead alongside their people. 

Bosses are unknown and faceless.

Leaders are obvious, and recognizable.  That's why people follow Leaders, they recognize them.

Female Leadership

 

Over the 25 years that I have been in sales and consulting I have always noticed how difficult it was for any woman in a position of any semblance of authority.  Not only getting there but in dealing with the day to day agenda that being a woman can attract from 'colleagues'

In direct Sales, which is a tough, in your face, no holds barred, environment the level of sexism is high.  It is not as bad as it was in the 80's and 90's thankfully but it is still there.

I have never understood why the question arises about 'women having the right to be in charge, or get promoted etc.  Women have just as much right as anyone to be in a leadership position but a lot of the old 'dinosaur' managers and salespeople would want to make you think otherwise.

I have heard of and seen a few very competent and capable women be turned down for a sales job thru fear.  Not theirs; but the fear of the man recruiting them.  They were far, far more capable than any of the other candidates.  I checked the recruitment system of a major blue chip sales company in London once and when I saw the candidates that had been turned down for the role, and compared them with the candidates that had been employed, I was shocked.

I wasn't shocked at the decision after I heard the conversation that had taken place after the interviews.  the manager that had been interviewing had conducted the interview with his area Manager. 

The Area Manager had told him, "I agree that she is the best candidate but use your head.  She is married and 24 years old with no kids.  You are targeted for 12 members of your team.  She could get pregnant at any time and then have a year off at full pay and benefits and you have to make up the numbers.  She is probably looking for a job like this so she can do just that.  Are you prepared to cover for her for a year?"

There are worse stories than that, believe me. 

Door to door saleswomen being told to wear short skirts and unbutton their tops more so that they get attention and gain interest from the potential customers who open the door.

Derogatory remarks made about women at Director level.  Sexist remarks made during meetings.  Its a point scoring thing which, in every time I have heard it, I have called the perpetrator on their bullshit.  I don't want to hear it.  I don't think it fair.  It's unnecessary and quite frankly, as a man, I don't want to be associated with other men who behave like it.  It is unprofessional and not the kind of thing a leader or anyone who wanted to be a leader would think was correct behaviour.

There is always banter, and practical jokes and a few laughs to be had in any work environment but there is a line.

In this day and age there should be NO difference between a male leader and a female leader.  They are LEADERS.  They do their job, they do it with integrity, they do it with authenticity, and they do it brilliantly.  If they dont' it's because they did something wrong, it's not because they are a woman or a man. 

The more we can encourage women to make a name for themselves in business the better.  BUT we don't want anyone to go into business BECAUSE they are a woman.  I don't believe we should recruit women because we 'need a few to make it look good'.  People, whether they are male or female, should be employed, mentored, coached, and promoted thru a company because of what they can do, not what they are.