Has Your Reality Check Bounced?

IS YOUR BELIEF A REALITY?

Beliefs are, in the majority of cases, a lie. They are not the truth.  The truth has to be experienced. Unless we have experienced something, it is not real.

Sometimes, the truth is so believable; people usually just believe it instead of experiencing it.

Everyone has a belief system.  These systems were formed when we were children.

Here are a few you may recognize:

·         Dad goes to work and Mum stays home to look after the kids.

·         If you’re good you go to heaven.

·         You must eat up your greens.

·         You must eat three square meals a day.

·         Love is never having to say you are sorry.

·         Hard work is good for you.

·         You will never be tall unless you stand up straight

·         You will never amount to anything unless you work hard.

 

It is probably a result of our ingrained beliefs about what a relationship should be, as opposed to the reality of the actuality of a relationship that has resulted in the high divorce rate.

When we separate what we BELIEVE from what we EXPERIENCE we will begin to run our lives, but not before.

The problem with a belief is that we take it to be the truth.  That’s fine if you imprint a belief in your mind that you will achieve, you can do it, you will attain success….but we have thousands of other beliefs that do not serve us.  Those ‘other’ beliefs are detrimental and if we take THEM to be the truth we could get stuck in them.

In other words most of us persist in thinking and doing what we learnt long ago, rather than acting out of our experience in response to whatever is happening now.

A classic story illustrates this point:

A man watches his wife cutting an inch off the end of the Lamb bone before putting it in the oven to roast.  After watching her do this a few times before, her husband asks her why.  She tells him that her mother always did it that way.  A few weeks later the husband asks his Mother-In-Law why she cuts an inch off the end of the lamb bone.  She tells him, “My mother always did it that way.”  The Grandmother is very old, in her 90’s, and when the husband and wife visit her one day he asks her the same question. “Your granddaughter, and your daughter, cut an inch off the end of the lamb bone before they put the lamb in the oven. They do it because you always did. Why did you do that?”

The old lady looks at the husband and says, “Well, in those days, I had a very small oven and the leg of lamb wouldn’t fit unless I cut an inch off the end of the bone!”

Most people are cutting an inch off the end of something in their lives to fit into an oven that’s no longer too small for it.

Most people are stuck in a melodramatic soap opera of their lives with the same four or five problems they have always had.  The bigger problem is that they continue with beliefs that have been carved into their minds since childhood and they are the reason they keep repeating the behaviour.

Here is a frightening example:

You trip over when you are five years old and cut your knee and your mother says, 'Don't cry; crying is bad," so you don't cry.  Then you have a fall while skiing when you are 17 and you break your leg but you keep a stiff upper lip and you don't cry because crying is bad.  Then when you are 24 you break up with your boyfriend or girlfriend, and you really thought that they were 'the one' and you STILL don't cry.

The more you repress your feelings the more your consciousness shuts down.  You become barely alive.  You act like a zombie.  You function mechanically and get a reputation as 'a bit of a cold fish'.

 

The reality is that as you function mechanically more and more, in some cases, you become successful at it.  Here's a reality check: Mechanical success is not any more satisfying than failure.

 

I took my psychology training years ago and therapy has always been concerned with the way people are run, or how they function, by what was rather than what is and how to free people from their past.  That never sat comfortably with me.  I know hundreds of people who trained just like me and never questioned it. 

 

There are 2 reasons they didn't question it:

1. FEAR! As in: 'Don't make waves....if you question it they will flunk you.'

and

2. Cut the end of the bone off the Leg of Lamb! 

 

What do I mean by that?  Think about it.  

 

That's right:  It has ALWAYS been done that way, so there must be a good reason for it.

How does HPT (Human Potential Transformation) differ from Therapy?  Therapy is concerned with curing people of an 'illness' whereas HPT offers people an experience of themselves, and the ability to design a future.

 

It is evident from my travels and studies, and from the Transformational Change work I have done in the last two years which, I admit, has become more extreme and direct, that Belief Systems are, by and large, a myth.

 

Belief Systems are created by knowledge or data without experience.

 

If you experience something, it is real for you.

If you communicate it to somebody, it is real for them because you are expressing your experience.

If they tell it to someone else, it's a lie.  It is merely a belief without the component of experience.

 

A belief is a very powerful thing.  You can kill or you can cure with one.  I have earned my living for many years training people to believe in themselves, which is good.  You CAN believe in yourself because you have the experience of yourself, you are your own reality.  I can prove to you, from my beliefs, that what I think and see is true.

 

I ask people what they expect to get out of the training program and the list can be very diverse. Some say they want to get to know themselves, some say they want to make better decisions, have more self confidence, be more decisive, fall in love, be more open, sell more product, be a better leader or manager....

 

What they ALL have in common is a set of expectations!

 

They truly believe that their happiness is dependant on more love, money, power, sex, self confidence, etc.  Each has a belief system that relates satisfaction to something they are striving for.

 

The REALITY is that their happiness is a function of accepting what is, and make it separate from what was and what is to come.

 

Belief is a structure which can contain very little information in terms of making it useful in your consciousness or well-being.

 

HPT works on Observation and not Belief.  Observation has nothing to do with the senses, perceptions or belief systems. It only deals with direct experience...REALITY.

 

One of the core HPT Observations is that Life can be considered to be three foot long, and the first two feet eleven inches are about the material aspects of life (food,clothing and shelter) and what's known as 'psychological needs'. You need someone to love you and someone you can love back. You need self esteem, recognition and respect from others.

 

After people fill their needs they start to look what it MEANS to fill their needs.  They start to realize that there is no true satisfaction in just filling your needs and they look beyond that.  And THAT is the last inch.  THAT is what HPT is all about.

 

It is the last inch, that has been cut off the bone again and again.  That Inch is the life changer. 

That last inch is where we discover TRANSFORMATION.

Dynamic-Transformation / Building Your Future

Dynamic-Transformation is a different thing entirely from change.  It doesn't take the past and change it, add to it or re-organise it.  It creates a new context.  Possibilities that didn't exist now come into being.  The future is built on possibility.  The future is constant. 

If we carry our past with us into the future, we are limiting the amount of space we have in our future because it is taken up with the past we bring into it.  If what we have in our future is our past, our future is going to be consistent with what we had in our past.

If we can take the past OUT of our future, we create an empty space which we can fill with all manner of possibilities and opportunities that are not governed or linked to any past activity. If you do not empty out your past from your future right now then all you are doing is changing your past.

Childhood experiences that have been traumatic.  It can be one experience that was big enough to be traumatic, or a series of experiences.

An example would be: If you have been bullied at school, it's probably not the one time but more likely a period of bullying over time.  That begins to shape who you are, and who you need to be, to become, to survive.  You can't do much at the time about that but you have to do something to defend yourself.  And that leads you into continuing to be that person who has built up defence mechanisms to deal with bullying but at some point you have to find a way to take that past OUT of your future and put it back IN the past.

We all have excess baggage.  We carry it around in our heads.  It's there even when we don't see it.
We are concerned about excess baggage when we go on vacation.  We don't want it then, so we weigh our bags to make sure we are below the requirement.  Trouble is, we carry it around at all other times.

At any given moment of any given day, we reference the excess baggage for information.  Even worse than that, we carry it into our future.  We expect to be able to function and plan and build strategies for a brighter future when we carry our past around with us.

I am not talking about forgetting your past, or where you come from, or your history, or the people in it...

I am talking about today being the day when you stop paying for your bags of excess baggage, and go forward with your hands open to grasp the opportunities that will come your way.

You CANNOT grab opportunity if your hands are full!!

We human beings don't leave the past in the past.  We have the past in the future. When you do that it appears as if the past gives you who you are, and who you are in the present.

Lets imagine the past and the future as two filing cabinets.

If you take the past out of the filing cabinet marked FUTURE, and put it in the filing cabinet marked PAST, what have you got in the FUTURE?  NOTHING!  Which is wonderful. Fantastic!!!!

Why?

Because if, WHO I AM in the present, is determined by the future into which I am living, I can CREATE a future for myself that gives me, in the present, a life of being, joy, happiness, accomplishment...a life worth living.

I will be launching the Dynamic-Transformation Seminar dates soon....and at the seminar you will discover just HOW to empty that future filing cabinet, HOW to take the past out of your future and HOW to free up the potential for your future self.

Female Leadership

 

Over the 25 years that I have been in sales and consulting I have always noticed how difficult it was for any woman in a position of any semblance of authority.  Not only getting there but in dealing with the day to day agenda that being a woman can attract from 'colleagues'

In direct Sales, which is a tough, in your face, no holds barred, environment the level of sexism is high.  It is not as bad as it was in the 80's and 90's thankfully but it is still there.

I have never understood why the question arises about 'women having the right to be in charge, or get promoted etc.  Women have just as much right as anyone to be in a leadership position but a lot of the old 'dinosaur' managers and salespeople would want to make you think otherwise.

I have heard of and seen a few very competent and capable women be turned down for a sales job thru fear.  Not theirs; but the fear of the man recruiting them.  They were far, far more capable than any of the other candidates.  I checked the recruitment system of a major blue chip sales company in London once and when I saw the candidates that had been turned down for the role, and compared them with the candidates that had been employed, I was shocked.

I wasn't shocked at the decision after I heard the conversation that had taken place after the interviews.  the manager that had been interviewing had conducted the interview with his area Manager. 

The Area Manager had told him, "I agree that she is the best candidate but use your head.  She is married and 24 years old with no kids.  You are targeted for 12 members of your team.  She could get pregnant at any time and then have a year off at full pay and benefits and you have to make up the numbers.  She is probably looking for a job like this so she can do just that.  Are you prepared to cover for her for a year?"

There are worse stories than that, believe me. 

Door to door saleswomen being told to wear short skirts and unbutton their tops more so that they get attention and gain interest from the potential customers who open the door.

Derogatory remarks made about women at Director level.  Sexist remarks made during meetings.  Its a point scoring thing which, in every time I have heard it, I have called the perpetrator on their bullshit.  I don't want to hear it.  I don't think it fair.  It's unnecessary and quite frankly, as a man, I don't want to be associated with other men who behave like it.  It is unprofessional and not the kind of thing a leader or anyone who wanted to be a leader would think was correct behaviour.

There is always banter, and practical jokes and a few laughs to be had in any work environment but there is a line.

In this day and age there should be NO difference between a male leader and a female leader.  They are LEADERS.  They do their job, they do it with integrity, they do it with authenticity, and they do it brilliantly.  If they dont' it's because they did something wrong, it's not because they are a woman or a man. 

The more we can encourage women to make a name for themselves in business the better.  BUT we don't want anyone to go into business BECAUSE they are a woman.  I don't believe we should recruit women because we 'need a few to make it look good'.  People, whether they are male or female, should be employed, mentored, coached, and promoted thru a company because of what they can do, not what they are.

Autopilot Responses...

So many people walk around on Autopilot. So many people have an Autopilot response to questions or situations.

In the Seduction Community, STILL headed by it's creator Ross Jeffries, one of the main tenets is, 'Never take a first response as written in stone. It's just an autopilot response and it is also something to play with.'

It's just a response that emanates from where that person is right now.'

What do you say to a Big Issue seller?
What do you say to Jehovahs Witnesses?
What do you say to a clipboard carrying student grinning maniacally at you in a shopping center?

What do you say to yourself in day to day situations?

How many times have you pitched a product or service only to hear, 'we are not interested!' That's just a weak, pointless, gutless, cop-out of an autopilot response.

All objections are state related.
Some of the state related objections are autopilot responses.

If you want examples of Autopilot responses ask for a regular size quarter pounder meal in McDonalds and you will be asked. 'Is that a large meal?'

Ask for a portion of fries and you will be asked, 'Do you want fries with that?'

I had builders working in my home and deciding to buy the 6 of them lunch, and being a very classy kind of guy, I drove to McDonalds. Remember this...
1.It was empty.
2.The car park was empty.
3. Two staff behind the counter watched me get out of the MooreMobile and walk in alone.

"Hi, can I have three quarter pounder with cheese meals, all with Cokes. Two Big-Mac meals with Fanta orange and a Chicken Sandwich meal with a Lemonade. Also can I have 6 Apple Pies please."

And then auto pilot took over and the girl asked, "Is that to eat here?"

I considered a barrage of answers but settled for, "Do you REALLY think that would be possible for me?"

Coming to her senses she shook her head and laughed.

It's dangerous to think that sometimes people are walking around on this Autopilot setting. Worse, are the ones who are driving!

How many times have you driven somewhere and not remembered the journey?
How many times have you driven your usual route to work only to realise that THAT was the day you were going somewhere else on the way to work first?

If you catch yourself responding to something in the same way you have always done, think for a second. What would happen IF you did something different?

The lights may be on but...is anyone at home in your head?

Disengage it!

Emotional Intelligence

I am about to turn this EQ and IQ debate on its head!

What really is EQ, IQ and IC?

Your EQ is more important than your IQ. The IQ test may help you get a job but your EQ will help you keep it. A high IQ is around 135. A high EQ is immeasurable.

It is no surprise that there are many people with really high IQ’s working for people with really low IQ’s. The people with the low IQ also have a high EQ, Emotional Quotient, and this makes them the real leaders. They know how to get people to work together.  They know how to put teams, groups and companies together.  They get people to work with people

The high EQ people know how the whole game is played and they draw the best out of their people and they are not afraid to have the more ‘intelligent’ working for them.

Of course, the people with the high IQ know how long it takes two men to fill up a bath with water using a pint glass halfway up a mountain in a thunderstorm but...that’s not going to improve business is it?

What would improve business?

Being the person who has the EQ skills to get the two guys to fill a bath with water halfway up a mountain in a thunderstorm in the first place!

Now although that is a great description of what EQ and IQ is (even if I say so myself ;-)) there is another definition of EQ, IQ and IC ("IC? What's THAT?" I hear you ask). What's more...it's probably the most important and life changing definition there is.

What if you are working at a company and things are not going your way. Or you may be doing something in your life but you just can't get it right. You can't achieve what you want to achieve. Do you give up? Do you continue to 'try' (yuck! I hate that word) but in your mind and heart you know that you have given up?

This is the new IQ in the world today. So many people IQ (I Quit). What's more, they have no idea how near to success they are when they quit!

Are you the only person in your company, business, life, relationship that thinks IQ? I bet not. You see, it's contagious!

Like a virus it infects everyone until, before you know it, unconsciously, EQ (Everyone Quits!).

Commit to one thing, if you commit to nothing else, commit to this...

IC! This is the belief you need. Your IQ and your EQ is blown away by this.

IC = I Can!

Your IC level (I CAN) is always more important than the IQ (I QUIT)level and will stop the rot of EQ (Everyone Quits) in its tracks. Defeat will never be an option. So when logic is trying to point out all the excuses and reasons tell that little voice in your head that keeps telling you that you will fail, you will not succeed and you are useless to shut the hell up.

Say to yourself: My IC is unbeatable. IC. I CAN!

Dan Forbes has added ANOTHER alternative: IW for I WILL.  This is Determination. As Dan says, "All the smarts in the world, and all the hopes in the world will not accomplish what someone with sheer determination will".

As for the words you use, I prefer IM = I MUST! When you see things as a 'I MUST' then you become UNSTOPPABLE!

 Check out Bad vs Strong language here: Bad Vs Strong Language


2013 Resolution

LOST:  

One whole year. Last seen yesterday.

Contains uncertainty, lazyness and no achievement.

Could you place an ad like that on January 1st 2013?

Be ashamed!! Be very ashamed.
2012 is the year the world ended.

2012 is the year the Mayans said it was going to be 'game over'.

Errm...

Actually:

2012 is nearly ended.

2012 is nearly over.

BUT...it had nothing to do with Myans/ Shmayans

It's New Years Day soon. What are you doing about it?

Plan ahead!
You don't need the end of the world being averted to realise that you are standing on the starting line of a whole new opportunity.

Do you wake up and say 'I can't wait to be mediocre today!'. I could tell you to get a life but why don't you just change the one you have?

Is watching TV tonight going to earn you money? Get you new clients? Expand your business? NO! So...Turn off the tube and get out your Notebook/ Planner!

If you are sitting there thinking 'Wow, a whole year ahead of me'? I guarantee you will soon be saying 'Where the hell did that year go?' And you will say that sooner than you think!

Hold on...ARE you sitting there thinking 'Wow, a whole year ahead of me'?  Have you ever had a deja vu feeling?  Didn't you say that LAST year?

What are you doing today? Watching TV? Reading the paper? Sleeping? Get off your ass and make a to do list and put a deadline in there!

2013 can be the best year ever if you make it so!

Go and do it. I am!

"Those who merely hope that conditions will change, their luck turn, or the person in front of or above them will either retire or die, merely see instead the success of those who grasp the opportunity of the present.  If you waste the valuable time of today, awaiting the promise of tomorrow, you will inevitably, always, be second the the person who, yesterday, prepared for today!" Dave Moore

Countdown to 2013

It has been a very changeable, happy, difficult, rewarding, challenging and eye opening year so far.
Aside from the personal losses, such as my Mother passing away, this year has been one of positive change.  What I would call one hell of a roller coaster year.  I am SO ready to begin a new year I am buzzing with excitement....so much to do and so much energy to make it happen!  Now the good news for you.....It’s that time of year again!

'Hmmm, do all those online courses
in my email box work?'

THINK!.....

Have you noticed that beginning in November, your Inbox fills up with all kinds of programs the sender claims “will make 2013 your best year ever!” Some of the ones I’ve received involve three day live events where they help you dig through your past and release all the limiting beliefs and negative self-talk that’s holding you back; another offers a “once-in-a-lifetime, special deal that will disappear at midnight” (I got that one three days running! Go figure that!) on a 36 CD program, complete with transcript, workbook and two live group calls, blah, blah, blah, work, work, work; and my favourite, the people who guarantee they will reveal how The Secret really works and how to make it work for you (which leads me to believe that the real secret to The Secret is all the people who are making a ton of money from telling other people how to get it to work)

What all these programs have in common, is they’re all about telling you things you can do and actions you can take, that will somehow magically turn you into “a money-making magnet.” But at the end of the day, all these live events, these “secrets”, these CDs and workbooks fundamentally are, are strategies, strategies that will supposedly “release negative patterns that are holding you back”, “rewire your brain for success”, or some equally bogus hype.

Why is it that all these claims, promises and allegations don’t work?

It’s very simple: what these programs are all about is teaching you a method, a strategy whereby you take something you’re doing, stop doing it, and instead do something else. Like the bright, glossy, shiny CD/DVD program they’re selling you.

I have news for you! Replacing one behavior with another behavior is not going to change your life or make a long-term difference on how successful you are in 2013. Substituting doing something with not doing something is a STRATEGY, and will only work as long as you maintain the willpower, vigilance and discipline to continue to do that strategy.

So, what's the real secret?

The real secret to lasting success is;

• Become a person who naturally and instinctively does whatever needs to be done to be successful.
• Become a person who easily and effortlessly acts and behaves in a certain way because that’s who you are.
• Don't use a strategy to fix what you’re doing or not doing. This won’t work because you’re still the same person you’ve always been, you’re just forcing yourself to act in a different manner.

And, that’s why you, and everyone else, inevitably fails and reverts back to doing what you always do.

You go back to being who you really are.

I know, it can be confusing, you might want to go back and read what the Real Secret is again.

My early Christmas gift to you...

It actually is possible to become the person who makes the choices you’d really like to make, who does the things you’d really like to do, so that you can achieve the success you really want to have. And it doesn’t involve dredging up the past or listening to dozens of CDs and filling out workbooks or flying across the country and spending thousands of dollars on a live event. You don’t need to develop your willpower, walk on fire or glass, be relentlessly vigilant or subject yourself to strict discipline for the rest of your life either.

What you do have to do is be willing to keep an open mind, and allow yourself to consider that something that sounds like the 21st century version of snake oil could actually work,

We are closing in on the New Year, and you, too, are probably getting a lot of emails from people who have products, on-line courses, are holding live events, etc. that promise to “make 2013 your best year ever!!”

I’m sure they have the best intentions, but…

What none of them seem to understand is that replacing one behavior with another behavior is a STRATEGY, and strategies like this only work as long as you have the willpower and the discipline to do them on a consistent basis.

For example, a diet is a strategy, making and prioritizing the next day’s To Do list is a strategy, only checking Twitter/ Facebook and your email twice a day at a predetermined time is a strategy – you get the picture? As long as you can make yourself do it, it works. And we all know that pretty much nobody is able to keep doing it for very long.

Great… so what does work?

What works is becoming the person who instinctively makes the choices you know you need to make to get you the results you’re looking to get. In other words, doing what needs to be done because that’s who you are.

Onassis and Me

The Aristotle Onassis Model

In 1970 Aristotle Onassis was relaxing in the bar of the London Palladium during a performance. The variety show on stage held no interest for him, he was most likely with Jackie and some friends and he had removed himself from the audience and was now enjoying his customary Johnnie Walker Black Label. 

At the Interval the audience started to fill the bar and a man and woman walked in with their 8 year old son. Onassis looked at the boy, who was wearing a suit and a tie, and smiled, walked over to the couple and said in his gruff voice something along the lines of, 'You have the smartest young man I have seen in a long while'. He then patted the boy on the head and gave him a five pound note. Then, with a smile, a slight nod and a wave he walked off to meet his party of guests. People looked at the couple with their son and the man said to his wife, 'You know who that was don't you?'

£5 was a LOT of money in 1970. The evening out for the couple and their son had been something the man had been saving up for for two months. The suit the boy was wearing (a blue two tone single breasted) came from the Peter Pan Outfitters for children in the Commercial Road in East London. The couple were my Mum and Dad. If ONLY I had kept that five pound note!

Ever since that moment I have been interested in the life of Aristotle Onassis.

Aristotle Onassis was one of the most successful, publicized and examined people in the world during the middle of the 20th century. Today, 37 years after his death, he is principally remembered as an ultra-rich shipping magnate, touring the world on his magnificent yacht and for his romance with the diva soprano Maria Callas and marriage to Jacqueline Kennedy. Before he attained business and social heights, however, he was a very rough, uncultured, non-work of art. His effort to change a dim future is worth a look: and is instructional as a teaching aid that anyone can utilize in pursuit of success.

Onassis was born in Smyrna of Greek parents. At the end of World War I he, along with millions of others, was forced into refugee status and arrived in Argentina as a penniless immigrant. His Spanish was minimal, his education limited and his skills on offer were not highly prized. Nevertheless, he examined his circumstance realistically and with deep analysis. He recognized that out of post-war chaos would come opportunity for the agile and creative entrepreneur. Being broke was just an obstacle, not a closed, door to Onassis.

As Onassis learnt the ways of Argentine society and business he noticed that there were specific clubs, restaurants, hotels and theatres that were almost exclusively frequented by the successful business and political class. Always a keen observer of human nature, he realized that contacts and friendships of value to an ambitious fellow like himself could only be nurtured in this rarefied realm. Onassis was determined to find a way in.

 

He worked mundane jobs, including a stint as a telephone operator. However, he was different from co-workers and other immigrants. He immersed himself in all things Argentine and he saved every cent he earned that was not needed for basic sustenance. Most importantly, he recognized the old saying; “the rich are different from you and me” was so true. He needed to emulate the rich in order to become rich. He never looked at successful people as the enemy. He had aspirations, not jealousy in his heart.

Onassis became addicted to quality in all areas of life. While still poor, he saved every peso until he could afford a Saville Row hand cut suit. He only had one suit, but it was elegant. He also observed that the rich seemed to appear healthier, happier. They seemed to sport suntan skin as a badge of their fortunate lifestyle. Onassis developed a lifetime addiction to pursuit of the perfect suntan. His tan was internationally famous long before the actor George Hamilton gained similar fame. To this day, a suntan is an emblem of the good life for the successful class.

A Saville Row suit, quality personal furnishings and a suntan that reeked of idle leisure and success were only a start. Onassis was still a rough diamond. Nevertheless, he believed in his ultimate destiny. He would have a drink every night at the bar of the Intercontinental Hotel in Buenos Aires, the cities finest. Only one drink, because that was all he could afford. He still worked as a telephone operator, but he kept his parallel lives as a blue-collar worker and social status seeker firmly differentiated.

His nightly visits to the Intercontinental Hotel bar gradually lead to his building a network of business and social contacts. The famous Argentine soprano Claudia Musa frequently visited the hotel. She was an adored opera star and a cultured beauty. Onassis was basically a nobody and a poser. And yet, he pursued the beautiful singer, and with his usual tenacity he won her heart. This drive to win would be displayed in every area of his long and exciting life.

Onassis recognized that Argentine women preferred a type of sweet Turkish tobacco that was not widely available in South America. Utilizing his newly found relationships; he brokered an import deal for an inventory of the tobacco. He assembled the capital necessary to organize a small factory and began to market several brands of Turkish cigarettes. This small, but successful deal was the basis for his later international business prominence.

Onassis recognized that World War II was imminent. The movement of war materiel was going to become crucial to the Allies winning the war. Shipping would be highly profitable, if he could find an inventory of ships to purchase. With customary elan, he found a small fleet of sturdy but well used freighters on the St. Lawrence Waterway and arranged a tight line of credit to purchase the motley flotilla. He was on his way to becoming the most famous shipping magnate in history.

Entrepreneurs, in order to succeed, often must change elements of their personal lifestyle. We have all heard the old adage, “success breeds success”. No one practised this truism more fully and instructively than Aristotle Onassis. He bought one high quality suit. He squired beautiful women. He went to the finest clubs, even though he could not afford much more than one drink. He used his new environment, new contacts and network to benefit his single-minded pursuit of success. Why did Willy Sutton rob banks: because that was where the money was! Onassis also made the elemental decision to hang out where the money was.

One of the most difficult aspects of the entrepreneurial process that must be overcome is the need to adjust lifestyle. Sacrifice today will pay dividends tomorrow. Venture capital usually will not be found in a pool hall. The necessity to improve one’s self-presentation and to network continually is paramount. You must be constantly closing the sale, improving your skills and totally focus on achieving your goal.

Aristotle Onassis worked blue-collar jobs, spoke Spanish as a third language, was a displaced immigrant on a strange continent and had zero personal assets. Nevertheless, he organized a personal plan to overcome his obstacles and lead a life of legendary accomplishment.

I spend a great deal of time training and coaching people and corporations to overcome hurdles. Some easily recognize the need to change habits and to utilize pieces of the Onassis template. They often have the ability to succeed. Many more unfortunately, decide that they know best, markets will adapt to their wants and a shortcut to success can be taken. They always fail. This is an absolute observation.

At the harbour of Nidri is a statue of the man who has inspired me and, through my work, inspires others. You can also see Skorpios from there. There is no way I can visit his grave as he is entombed with his two children on the private island but the statue is the nearest I can get to 'The Great Onassis' again in person.










Quotes:

“To be successful, keep looking tanned, live in an elegant building (even if you're in the cellar), be seen in smart restaurants (even if you only nurse one drink) and if you borrow, borrow big.”

“If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.”

“It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light.”

“We must free ourselves of the hope that the sea will ever rest. We must learn to sail in high winds.”

“The secret of business is to know something nobody else knows”

“After a certain point, money is meaningless. It ceases to be the goal. The game is what counts.”

“I have no friends and no enemies -- only competitors.”

“Get a sun lamp to keep you looking as if you have just come back from somewhere expensive”

“Find a priest who understands English and doesn't look like Rasputin.”

“The more you own, the more you know you don't own.”

“Always carry a notebook. Write down ideas and information. Write down everything you know and hear about a person you meet. That way, next time you meet them, you know how much time to give them.”

Are you Getting what You Want?

Well? Are You?  Or, are you depriving yourself from getting what you want by not asking for it?

How many times are you really specific?  I mean REALLY specific?  Answer: a lot less times than you think.

Attitude, surprisingly enough (!), plays a large part in this. 

What do you see written here?:

Do you see 'Opportunity is Nowhere'?
Good. If you like that sort of thinking.....

But, do you know what is better?  What you SHOULD be reading?

'Opportunity Is Now Here!'

It's your choice, you decide, your conscious and unconscious minds conspire to read whatever it thinks you want to read. 

Opportunity abounds.  Opportunity is everywhere.  Opportunity is in every situation you find yourself in.  Do you see it? Would you take it? 

I ask people what they want out of life and a lot of times people say 'Money'.  I always ask 'How Much?' and I get the same answer more often than not...'Lots of money'.

To a beggar on the streets, one pound or dollar is a lot of money.  Would you classify it as a lot of money?  No?  Then what is a lot of money? Be SPECIFIC.

If you want to get 'something' out of a situation, be specific about what it is you want.  If you want to lose weight, be specific about how much weight.  If you want to make more money, be specific about how much. 

Give your dreams some idea of what reality is and they will become reality.

Why don't you use what I call 'the Starbucks Method'?

When you go into Starbucks and the Barista asks you what you want, do you say 'Well, I don't want a Latte, and I don't want a Mocha, and I don't want an espresso...' until all that is left is the Cappuccino that you want?  No! You say: 'grande Cappuccino please'.  thats it...specific!

If you want the universe to work for you then ask it for something.  But, give it a clue. 
FOCUS on what you want, not what you don't want.
Ask for what you want and be Specific.
Take some action to make it happen.

The Universe is there to help you.

When you think the Universe is ignoring you, not listening or not delivering...wake up!  Has it occured to you that you may need to get out of its , both physically and mentally so it CAN help you?  You could be your own barrier to success. 

Change your mindset....MOVE!

Psychological Cat Burglar

Psychological Cat Burglar – An Interview with Dr David Moore.

It is safe to say that if David Moore did not exist you would have to invent him.  He is the owner of The Moore Consortium group of companies which cover a variety of the ‘self-help’ streams, from NLP and Persuasion through to Firewalking and EFT.  David spent his early years as a salesman in a variety of industries including Time Share, Insurance, Double Glazing and Advertising.  In the early 1990’s he became a salesman for Cable London, a cable TV and Telephone provider and within a very short space of time went from salesman to team leader, to Field sales Manager to National Sales Trainer.  He was the most successful salesman Cable London produced.  He was the only salesman to venture into the notorious Broadwater Farm Estate in North London, the scene of rioting a few years earlier, and over a two month period there became top salesman.  He became national sales trainer when Telewest increased their share holding of Cable London and flew all over the country training staff from London to Dundee.  It was only after watching a sales consultant present a three day training seminar to Telewest Communications (Cable London’s owners) that David realised where the future really was.  He formed his own Training company, left Cable London/ Telewest and was a spectacular success.

Behind the success he admits there were difficult times.  The loss of a corporate culture was one.

“I had always worked for other people.  I had a very high salary, pension schemes, medical insurance and a car allowance.  Now all of that was gone and I was flying solo.  It is difficult but not impossible.  If it is something you feel you should do then I would suggest you do it.  It is liberating.  It’s very different.  It’s a huge responsibility.  But, it is the only way to really do what you want!”

Over the last 15 years David has incorporated a variety of elements into a program he has developed called ‘Human Potential Technology’.  These include Inner Game and Attitude, Persuasion, Firewalking, Glasswalking, NLP, Hypnosis, EFT and Sales Training.

“I don’t believe in being a ‘jack of all trades; master of none’ as some companies appear to be.  My method is to incorporate a lot of different areas of expertise that fall under the umbrella of Personal Development.  I feel that if you teach Persuasion you must have expertise in NLP.  To teach people how to walk on fire or broken glass you must have expertise in attitude and persuasion.  It all fits within the parameters of development.”

What about the Personal Development or self help movement?

“To me, self help is like self abuse.  You HAVE to do it yourself.  The books and dvd’s only show you what to do.  You must take action and do it yourself.  I do tell people to stop buying self help books because they probably haven’t read all of the ones they already have.  A new one comes along and they put down the one they are reading and order the new one from Amazon and then a few weeks later…it happens again.  It’s a paradigm shift. The answers you want are probably already in a book on your shelf that you didn’t finish.  I have read hundreds of them and I read the new ones and I can see that many of the ‘new’ ideas are just a rehash of older ideas.  I agree that as the times change and people become more aware of self help and human potential we need to teach and coach in a new way.  If we taught today in the style of a teacher from 30 years ago, the chances are we wouldn’t be listened to.”

You spent a lot of time teaching people to walk on Fire or Broken glass.  Was that fun?

“Fun is one word for it.  It was great at the time but I believe it has been done to death.  It is very rare to find anyone who hasn’t either done it or at least heard of it or heard of someone who has done it.  It doesn’t have the novelty factor any more.  The training I put people through before they walked included a lot of life skill training, persuasion and NLP techniques that they could utilise in all manner of areas of their lives.  It was never really ‘only’ about the walk.  I train a lot of people in everything from Sales training and Customer service through to Attitude and Inner Game.  I have always been interested in Persuasion.  How one person can get someone or a company to do something when other people have tried and failed?  I have studied great persuaders of history; I have researched and studied conmen and brain pirates who can get total strangers to do whatever they want them to.  There is an art to it and like everything in life; all it takes is the knowing how to do it.  If someone tells me something can’t be done, I have always believed that was because they  didn’t know how to do it!’

So salespeople have to have the ability to persuade people to buy?

“A good salesperson will persuade people to buy.  A really great salesperson with put a person in a position where they not only WANT to buy, but buying will seem natural.  They have to be put at ease.  I have been very successful in every sales environment I have worked in.  My mentor, Hal Stamford, was one of the UK heads of Coca Cola before he retired and took a consulting job at Cable London and he said once that I ‘could sell shaving foam to the Taliban.’  That’s an interesting concept!”

If I were to become a salesperson could you teach me how to put people at ease?

“Remember, my years of training salespeople stem from my history of selling.  If you knock on someone’s door at 7pm at night, with no idea of who is behind the door and they, in turn, are not expecting you then you have four or five seconds after they open it to put them at ease.  You are then expecting to be asked in, for them to listen to you and for them to buy from you.  I did that on a daily, weekly, monthly basis for two years before the company asked me to show other salespeople HOW to do it.  I was always over target and getting results.  I was earning more money in a week than the Sales Director was earning in a month.  Yeah, I can teach anyone.  I didn’t only look at sales techniques. I studied body language, language patterns, embedded commands even colors.  I was always aware that colors have an effect on people.  I always wore a pink shirt.  Pink is a very powerful color, as is purple.  Not just any pink but what is known as ‘Baker-Miller pink’ or more commonly ‘drunk tank pink’.  It denotes trust.   It’s used in calming offenders moods in prisons, it reduces the anxiety levels as well as blood pressure.  The dressing rooms of visiting football teams are sometimes painted that colour so as to render the players less competitive.  If I worked in a very affluent area then the pink shirt would be accompanied by Gucci loafers, designer suits and silk ties.  In a less affluent area that look was jettisoned for jeans/ chinos and trainers and a leather jacket.  I still had the pink shirt though.”

What about Manipulation or Persuasion in everyday life, like advertising?

“It is more like Social Influence.  It is fun to intercept and decode the psychological DNA of free will.  Once you have an understanding of how to redirect another persons thought processes then your own neural meteorology is something I call ‘Controlled unpredictability’.   You can decide what way it will go but the distance and direction will sit outside the normal constraints.  You just need to know where the brain’s pressure points are.  Where peoples blind spots are.”

 Isn’t that dangerous?

“Only if you were using the knowledge for something bad.  As it is, I have people coming to me for answers.  They are stuck, at a point in their life where they can see no future or change.  I do what needs to be done to help them.”

What is the basic process?

“There is a system that is used in all forms of Persuasion.  Conmen use it, politicians use it, members of the public use it without knowing they are using it.  It’s an algorithm.  There are three A’s to persuasion.  Attention, Approach, and Affiliation.  The basic raw material, your message, is what people pay attention to.  The manner of your delivery is going to predetermine how people will process or approach it.  Thirdly, how you are evaluated by others, your body language, language patterns, verbal and non-verbal cues are the parameters of affiliation.  In essence, the Human Potential Technology program we run offers our SPICE^© program. Simplicity, Perception, Incongruity, Confidence, Empathy.  Once you deploy a technique that encompasses those ingredients, it ships so much psychology into the brain’s bloodstream, people lose all resistance to persuasion. “

Where do you see yourself in five years time?

“The Moore Consortium will be worldwide.  The Dynamic-Life Academy will have a team of trainers around the world and certification programs.  I am looking forward to the future and working on it now.”

Who Is On Board your Leader SHIP?

Who Is On Your Leader Ship?

Have you ever been on board a ship?  It really doesn’t matter whether it’s a large cruise liner or a cross channel ferry.  The principle is always the same.

The Captain.  The captain or master is the ship's highest responsible officer, acting on behalf of the ship's owner. The captain is legally responsible for the day to day affairs of the ship as he is in command. It is his responsibility to ensure that all the departments under him perform legally to the requirements of the ships owner. The Captain represents the owner, or could also BE the owner.

The Chief Officer.  He is the head of the deck and second-in-command after the ship's Captain. The chief Officers primary responsibilities are the vessel's cargo operations, its stability, and supervising the deck crew. The Chief Officer is responsible for the safety and security of the ship, as well as the welfare of the crew on board. The chief Officer typically stands the navigation watch with an eye on the horizon. Additional duties include maintenance of the ship.  The Chief Officer also trains the crew on various aspects like safety, firefighting, search and rescue, and various other contingencies. The chief officer assumes command of the whole ship in the absence of the Captain.

The Second Officer. The second officer is usually in charge of navigation and is the next licensed position above third officer and below chief officer as third-in-command.  The second officer is typically the navigation officer aboard a ship.

Third Officer.  The third officer is primarily charged the safety of the ship and crew. The third officer is the next license position onboard the Ship, being fourth-in-command after the captain, first officer, and second officer.

Now let’s look at this in a different way. 

Let’s imagine we are not talking about a Ship.  Let’s talk about a company.  Your Company.

You have a Ship/Company that you want to sail.  You launch it and its full steam ahead.  Your passengers are your Customers.  If they enjoy the trip, and the customer service is excellent then they will book again.

The Captain is YOU! You are the Leader, the CEO. You are the one in overall command of the Ship/Company.  You are the one that decides direction and destination.  Your Crew/Team will come to you with ideas to make the cruise more enjoyable for the passengers/customers, and will run ideas past you as to new and exciting destinations for you to steer towards.  You need a great crew/team and your ability to recruit, mentor, promote and empower your people is the reason your ship/company will be successful.  They are the driving force, the lifeblood of your business.

The Chief Officer is your Director.  They have the day to day running of the company in mind.  The navigation, the speed, the training of your staff, the planning…yes, you are the overall person in charge but you have mentored and coached this person in such a way that when you ‘go ashore’ you are confident that what you would have done if you had been on board is being done while you are not on board.

The Second Officer is your Manager.  They maintain and steer your company on the course set by you and your Director.  They ensure that you arrive at the relevant port on schedule (your company hits target) and that the seas are navigated in a safe way (your customers have a smooth ride) while keeping an eye out for icebergs (challenges, roadblocks and complaints).  They report back regularly and advise you and your Director of the potential difficulties (competition activities, current trends, feedback from customers).  They also manage your team directly and monitor their performance.  They have targets to reach, staff levels to maintain and results to achieve.

The Third Officer is your HR or Compliance Officer.  They are in charge of the safety and compliance with the law of your company and its entire staff.  They ensure that the documentation, contracts, employment law and entitlements of all of your staff, and you, are adhered to in a manner that is conducive to all.

A Captain is usually someone who has started out as a sailor and worked their way up thru the ranks to Captain.  In doing so, they have a great understanding of how each section, from the Bridge to the Engine Room, works and they could, at any time, step in if disaster happens in ANY of those areas.

A great leader is also someone who can step in at any level because, not only do they have a deep understanding of what the business is and how it runs but they spend time walking around, talking, getting involved and relating to people at all of those levels.

If your Ship is called ‘Leader’ then the only way to ensure your ‘Leader-Ship’ is sailing on calm waters, fully crewed with full capacity of passengers at all times is to not only have a crew that you trust, but to have a crew that trusts you!  You are confident that when you 'step ashore' the ship is running EXACTLY as it would if you were on the bridge.

When your crew (and customers) feel safe, feel they can approach you, listen to you, admire you, know that you are decisive and that you are willing to listen to them AND include them because you consider their opinions and ideas relevant, you can sail any sea.

Bon Voyage! 

The Dragon Strikes Home

Firstly, a big thanks to my friend Steve Drake for jogging my memory of this fine book by a great man.


Steve is a top rate Martial Artist as you will find if you click HERE.


Bruce Lee was not only the most influential and greatest Martial Artist who ever lived but he studied Philosophy and Psychology and his writings have been published in a series of books and this one Striking Thoughts - Wisdom for Daily Living is my favourite of them all.

A post on Steve's Facebook page reminded me to flick through the pages again. I have read this book over ten times since I bought it two years ago. Each time I read something I have read before but because of my mindset I read into it differently and the meaning comes alive.

For example:

Bruce Lee on Motivation:.....


Your Mind Determines the Effect.
It is not what happens in our life that is important, it's how we react to what happens.

That quote is just one of thousands that hit home. It was written long before the well known NLP phrase, Nothing in life has any meaning except the meaning you give it.
And again:.....
Become what you think.
What you habitually think largely determines what you will ultimately become.

This is the sales mantra, Fake It until you Make It!

It is also very closely linked with the Positive Mental Atitude teachings of Napoleon Hill, Bob Proctor etc....but this is Positive Mental Attitude training from Bruce Lee.

Wisdom like this is on every page:.....
•"Remember, I am no teacher; I can merely be a signpost for a traveler who is lost"
•"The ideal teacher - not 'what' to think, but 'how' to think.
•"Defeat simply tells me that something is wrong in my doing - it is a path to success and truth"
•"Where method is, freedom is not"

Four superb lessons are these:.....
1.Take my words and do with them what you will. Your milage may vary..
2.Observe and explore my process, not my content.
3.Failure is not only to be expected, but welcomed and even celebrated.
4.If you didn't hear me the first time, reread 1, 2, & 3!!

I would recommend anyone in personal development to grab a copy of this fine book. And check out Steve Drakes website too. Click the link above or HERE.

You Need To Be Seen As A Leader

Many people are surprised to discover that being a Manager is markedly different from being a Leader.

A Leader is someone who can do ALL of the Managerial stuff but they have other attributes that put them head and shoulders above the others.

To be a leader means empowering people, taking risks, to be at the FOREFRONT, to be an example, to be a stabilizing force both emotionally and business wise during tough times, to be the one who rouses and stirs the emotions in people.

To be a leader means saying 'US' rather than 'ME', saying 'WE did it' and not 'I did it' and saying 'LET'S do it' rather than 'YOU do it'.

If you get it right, you don't even have to ask people to do something.  They become so part of your empowered environment that they know what needs doing and they do it, because they know YOU would.

Non verbal Leadership just means 'being there' for your employees.

In World War II Winston Churchill rallied the British people and their resolve by leading by example.  He was seen walking around and talking to the people where the heaviest damage from the bombing had been.  He inspired millions of people by being seen where the rockets and bombs had landed.

Dwight Eisenhower was always accessible to his men of all ranks and was there with the troops before the launch of the invasion of Europe.

What these people like Churchill, Eisenhower, MacArthur, Margaret Thatcher were saying was very powerful but equally important, or in some cases more, was what they were doing.

Being visible at the front, being shoulder to shoulder with their troops inspired nations. 

The definition of Leadership implies that you must be at the front, and be seen to be at the front.  If not, who are you?

The greatest Generals like Marcus Aurelius, Alexander and others did not give orders from the rear (like their opponents or 'competition') but they led their men into battle.

If you want to be a leader, be visible.  Walk the office, walk the floor, talk to your people and your customers however large your organisation.  Get out of that office and be seen.

REMEMBER: People will not follow you if you lead them in the wrong direction.  Nor will they follow you if you lead them in the right direction, but in the wrong way.

If you want to lead them right, you have to be a leader!