The Kindest Cut

Talking of Language...as I was before I started writing this (it's ok, you weren't part of the
conversation), I wanted to share something with you all.

I have just had a meal with some friends who also work in the NLP and Persuasion field and we were discussing language and conversation.

It seems that some conversations, or lines of questioning, are acceptable in certain situations but not others. What appears quite incongrous and innocent can be intrusive and freakin' creepy in others

I told them that when I had my haircut the other day, the hairdressers I use offer you tea/coffee/water/glass of wine or beer while you are having your hair cut.  After your hair is washed they offer a complimentary neck and back massage.  It's a top notch joint.  Fact is, they cut your hair and concentrate on doing a great job. The girl that cut it was talking to me and asked me a few questions to pass the time of day while she sharpened my head.

It struck us that no other job could warrant the questioning.  You would not get away with it.

"Do you live nearby?"
"What do you do?"
"Are you married?"
"Is that your car outside?  Nice."
"Where are you going on holiday?"

I responded to her questions but then asked her...

"Have you worked here long?"
"Who does YOUR hair?"
"How long have you been doing this?"
"Wow, those are long hours,are you married?"
"How many of you work here?"

Can you imagine the trouble you would be in having that kind of conversation, the kind everyone has with a hairdresser, somewhere else.

There you are ladies, sitting at the bar having a quiet, chill out, drink after a long day and a guy walks in, you smile at each other and to break the silence he asks...
"Do you live nearby?"
"What do you do?"
"Are you married?"
"Is that your car outside? Nice."

You go to your doctor and after he has examined you and is writing out a prescription for something you ask...
"Do you live nearby?"
"What do you do?"
"Are you married?"
"Is that your car outside? Nice."

There you are at the gym.  Pumping iron or in the jacuzzi, whatever, and the person next to you says,
"Do you live nearby?"
"What do you do?"
"Who does YOUR hair?"
"How long have you been doing this?"
"Are you married?"

It seems to me that some conversations are specific to certain situations and are a no go in others.

Can you think of any situations where you have been talking to someone and asked questions like that because I can't. We can't.  In fact the feedback on this from readers is that they can't either!

It's true when they say your hairdresser knows more about you than your friends.