Dreamer, nothing but a dreamer

Roger Hodgson of Supertramp coined that phrase and what is wrong with that? It's a very good thing to be.

As I sit here with a mug of coffee, black, two sugars, stirred anti-clockwise (it improves the flavour) my mind wanders off. I'm not concerned, It's nothing unusual. It does that sometimes but it never strays far and it always comes back.

My mind is thinking of a hundred, a thousand, things at once. I get a bit of a glazed look on my face (not good when driving) and some people look at me and ask 'What ARE you thinking?' or the classic one; 'Penny for them!' A penny? They are worth more than that! People who really know me take no notice. They just wait to find out what direction I am now going to go in thanks to the thought.

I am a dreamer. A Day Dreamer. I think deeply and day dream. There is nothing wrong with that.

We have voices in our heads that tell us to do things. That is called THINKING. Part of my training program means I ask groups of people 'Do you have a voice in your head that tells you to do things?' A few people sit there and look at the ceiling and mouth the words 'do I?'

If people don't put their hands up I usually tell them 'The voice I am talking about is the one that said "voice in my head? Woah! I am NOT putting my hand up for that one!"

(I once asked a group of people if anyone had a phobia about putting their hand up in public. One person put their hand up! - Unbelievable. You can't make this stuff up!)

If you dream at night you will be very lucky to remember it next morning. Well, you remember the bad ones, the nightmares.

People often say to me; "I can't imagine doing what you do, even in my wildest dreams!" Well, if you can't imagine doing it in your wildest dreams, how are you going to do it for real?

Dreaming during the day is just an extension of thinking. It's giving your imagination some time to wander around to see what it comes up with.

T.E Lawrence (of Arabia) wrote a book called 'The Seven Pillars of Wisdom' and in it he wrote the following....
"All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes, to make it possible."

If you imagine it, dream it, see it...then you will achieve it. Naturally you have to take some action to get it but if you see it in your mind, you will receive it. Dream it, and do it.

If you think I am alone in that thought then let's leave the final word to the late, great, John Lennon;

"You may say I'm a dreamer, But I'm not the only one.

I hope some day you will join us, When the world will be as one."

Imagine!

BELIEF! Have you got it?

What's the Difference that MAKES the Difference?

To me it's got to be attitude. That self assuredness, that energy, that belief that no matter what happens, no matter what obstacles appear, you will achieve what you want to achieve.

People always look for cop outs. Excuses. They have a but!
You need to KICK THOSE BUTS Out of your vocabulary now!

"I could have done that...BUT!"
"I would have done that...BUT!"
"I should have done that...BUT!"

That's the old 'coulda, woulda, shoulda' scenario. At the heart of that scenario is another word. 'Didna'.

I know that if you have the right attitude you can achieve anything. Your BELIEFS will determine whether yo get what you want.

I use myself as an example.

• I have an air of uninsultability. I don't care what people say about me. Why should I? They don't know what they are talking about! They must get my name right though!
• I decide where my energy goes, nobody else.
• Everything people say or do to me is energy, and it's just a toy for me to play with.
• I don't take anything that people say to me at first to be written in stone. In other words, what people say first can be changed.
• Nothing in life has any meaning except the meaning I give it.
• I never hate people who are obviously jealous of me. I respect their jealousy because they must think I am better than them or they want to be me!
• 90% of people are running on autopilot 90% of the time
• If I am told something can't be done it's because the person telling me doesn't know how to do it. So I go and do it.

It is also important to think different. A case in point.

I had a conversation the other day regarding work. Someone was looking for a change of career. It seemed that working from home might be better than going out to work. I made a quick suggestion.

"What about some form of MLM? Multi Level Marketing is booming. You could get on the vitamin and herbal remedy market. There are a lot of companies looking for people to sell products and you could have vitamin evenings and sell the products at home to people who come around for the evening party?"

What was the response...? Well...objection.....?

Before I tell you the response/ objection let me reframe it....

Throughout my career I have advised people on what to do for a business venture, in what to sell, and how to sell. In all of those areas I get the same response as I got here. The same! What amazes me is how the same reply from me always makes them realises what a stupid, dumbass objection it is...

The response/ objection?...

"Do you know how many companies there are out there selling that?"

Duh! Yes I do. Maybe not to the exact figure but I can hazard a guess...

My reply?

"Do you know how many people there are out there buying that stuff?"

Simple. There are millions of people out there. BILLIONS of people in the world. Are you telling me that they are ALL buying from these companies. No. They are not.

Advertising either works or it doesn't. If it didn't work then people wouldn't advertise.

I had someone tell me once, 'I don't advertise because I know it won't work!'
I told them, 'You know when you will realise that it does? In a years time when you place an advertisement that says 'Business for Sale', THAT is when you will realise advertising works!'

We all know Louis Vuitton, Bentley, Rolls Royce, Rolex, Breitling and all manner of stuff that we desire and /or buy. Why do they advertise? Why do they HAVE to advertise? Because it works.

Then I got this...

"If people want things like that then they would just go down to the supermarket and buy them."

No WAY! People have to be TOLD what to buy. They have to be given options.

That's why you sell someone a years supply rather than a months.

What's more, selling things on the Internet or at home is designed to undercut the big stores as well as the small exclusive ones. These MLM companies market stuff that you cannot buy in stores. The opportunity is there!

It's a matter of doing things Differently. Thinking Differently. Selling Differently. Being Different. And that's the difference that MAKES the difference!

If you let NOTHING get in the way of your target, nothing get in the way of your dream and nothing get in the way of achieving what you want then nothing will.

You have to change your beliefs, change your attitude and change your mind set.

You must not let anything get in your way.

Here's an example...This is someone who never let anything get in their way, never let anything stop them, adapted situations to suit and changed themselves...they know the meaning of the difference that makes the difference.

The man is Chaim Weitz.

Though he is from a Hungarian family he was born in Isreal and his Mother took him, at the age of 8, to live in America even though he was unable to speak English.

When older he made money selling comic books at conventions. He learnt to speak English, German and Hebrew as well as his native Hungarian and taught in schools in America under the name Gene Klein.

A few years later he picked up a guitar, changed his name to Gene Simmons and morphed into the guy in the pic at the top of this blog!

If he can achieve a personal metamorphosis like that...anything is possible. That's the Difference that MAKES the Difference!

10 Lessons from Sara Blakelys Rise to 1 billion

10 Lessons from Sara Blakelys Rise to
1 billion dollars

By Kathy Caprino @kathycaprino  @Forbes

For further information please click here: http://www.spanx.com/corp/index.jsp?page=sarasStory&clickId=sarasstory_aboutsara_text

1) Fail Big – Sara’s beloved father followed Wayne Dyer’s guidance in teaching his children the power of failing big. Each day, her father would ask – “So, what did you fail at today.” And if there were no failures, Dad would be disappointed. Focusing on failing big allowed Sara to understand that failure is not an outcome, but involves a lack of trying — not stretching yourself far enough out of your comfort zone and attempting to be more than you were the day before. Failing big was a good thing.
2) Visualize it – Sara is a big fan of “visualizing” your big goal, in specific, concrete ways. She saw herself clearly on the Oprah TV show 15 years before it happened. She simply knew it would happen. She’d see in her mind’s eye sitting on the couch with Oprah having an exciting conversation, and wondered, “What are we talking about?” The rest was just “filling in the blanks” to get there.
3) Don’t share your fragile idea with the world too soon. Sara kept her idea of making a fabulous new undergarment for women under wraps for an entire year while working on developing the prototype. Only after she was 100% committed to it and ready to launch, did she sit her friends down and explain her new direction. Sara explains that ideas are vulnerable, fragile things. Wait until you’re completely read to move forward before you share it with people. Meaning well, they’ll shoot it down, offering all the reasons why it won’t work. But when they do, you’ll be ready to deal with it.
4) Don’t take no for an answer. Sara reached out to slews of manufacturers and lawyers to help her patent her idea and create a successful prototype. In every conversation she had with potential manufacturers, she was asked three questions: 1) Who are you? 2) Who are you with? 3) and Who is backing you? When the answers to these three questions remained, “Sara Blakely,” no one wanted to take a chance on her, until one manufacturer called her back and said “OK.” Why? Because he had gone home and told his daughters about the idea, and they said, “It’s brilliant!”
5) Hire people you like and trust (even if they don’t know a great deal about what you need them to do). Sara hired a head of Product Development and a PR director who had been friends and supporters from the beginning. Neither knew anything about the functional areas they were hired to oversee, but Sara trusted they’d be fabulous at their new roles, and they were.
6) You don’t have to go in order. Sara’s passionate commitment to her new Spanx product was so fierce, she just tackled each task in the development and marketing journey as they came up, not necessarily in the best order for a smooth launch. She landed a Neiman Marcus deal involving placement of the product in seven stores, before figuring out how to mass produce “crotches” for the product. The Oprah show called to do a feature on her in a staff meeting in her “offices” before she had an office or a staff. She winged it, and it all went well.
7) You CAN figure it out – you have the ability. Sara knew absolutely nothing about women’s undergarments, patenting a new product, manufacturing, marketing, product development, website development, online commerce, and more. But that didn’t stop her. She researched what she needed to, hired out what she couldn’t do, and marched forward with undying commitment and energy. Don’t stop yourself from pursuing an idea because you don’t think you have what it takes.
8) You can build a billion dollar business starting with $5,000. Sara had only $5,000 in savings on that fateful day when she cut the feet off of her stockings in order to wear them under her white pants for a more flattering look (and thus, realized the world needed a new undergarment product that would be comfortable yet flattering to the female form). From that $5,000 she embarked on designing a prototype, securing a manufacturer, naming the product, legally protecting her product, and getting the word out to potential buyers. You don’t have to be rich to move forward with your fabulous new idea.
9) Don’t worry about the outer “stuff” until the time is right. Sara worked tirelessly from her apartment creating her product, avoiding investing in outside office space or other marketing and business tools until the product had taken off. She didn’t have a formal website until she made it on the Oprah show and needed one. Anything that wasn’t essential to building the product and getting the name out there simply wasn’t a priority.
10) Breaking the mold is a good thing. When Sara began to research undergarments for women and how they’d been made for the last 50 years, she was astonished. From the absurd sizing protocols (only one average waist measure was used on all the products, regardless of the size of the garment), to how products were tested (on manikins not real people), Sara saw that the undergarment industry needed a female perspective – insights from a real woman wearing these items to shape the product development direction so the products were useful, effective, and as comfortable as possible. She broke the mold, and developed a completely new approach to developing women’s undergarments.
Sara’s most important tip:
“Believe in your idea, trust your instincts, and don’t be afraid to fail. It took me two years from the time I had the idea for Spanx until the time I had a product in hand ready to sell into stores. I must have heard the word “no” a thousand times. If you believe in your idea 100%, don’t let anyone stop you! Not being afraid to fail is a key part of the success of Spanx.”
In the end, Sara Blakely’s story shows us what’s possible when we believe, when we’re resourceful beyond measure, and when our passion and commitment to something outside ourselves brings us to a calling.
What are you most afraid of failing at? Will you get in the cage with your fears and take a step toward your dream today?

Belief! Sara Blakely failed her way to one billion dollars! SPANX

If EVER there is a story that embodies BELIEF then this is it!  Thanks to Roger James Hamilton

 

How Sara Blakely lost her way to a billion dollars: 8 years ago Sara lost in the finale of Richard Branson’s reality TV show “Rebel Billionaire”. The loss was one of many that turned Sara into the world’s youngest self-made female billionaire...

Sara’s entire life has been about failure. She says “My dad encouraged us to fail. Growing up, he would ask us what we failed at that week. If we didn't have something, he would be disappointed. It changed my mindset at an early age that failure is not the outcome, failure is not trying. Don't be afraid to fail.”

In the 1990s Sara became an expert in failure by selling fax machines (remember those?) and was often so terrified of meeting prospects she would burst into tears and drive around the block to calm down before her sales calls.

Overheating from the stress of it, she decided to cut the feet off her pantyhose to cool down. That was her ‘aha’ moment. As she says “When I cut the feet out of my pantyhose that one time, I saw it as my sign.” She decided to start a business to sell the footless pantyhose in 1998 with just $5,000 - all of her savings - and called the company “Spanx”.

Did the failure stop then? No - “When I invented Spanx I heard 'no' for two years. It didn't faze me. I didn't have a special ability, it was sheer drive and telling myself to keep going.”

FAILING BIG

Working from her kitchen, she made a push for publicity, which simply means your failure becomes more public. For example, her experience with the English: “On the BBC, I was asked what Spanx could do for women in the U.K. I said, 'It smoothes and separates your fanny.' The interviewer looked mortified. I had no idea what was going on, so I kept rambling on about fannies until he stopped me and said, 'I think you mean bum.' The word fanny means vagina in England.”

Her publicity led her to Oprah and Richard Branson’s “Rebel Billionaire” in 2005. She ended up losing that too, but the show gave her a chance to realise what she really wanted to do with her future success - Start a charity for women. Branson gave her $750,000 to start her charity, the Sarah Blakely Foundation, to support women leaders.

What happens when your failure rate goes up? Your luck rate goes up too.

To face her failures, Sara had luck on her back - literally!

“I found my lucky red backpack from college in my mom's attic and became determined that it was going to change my path for Spanx because I kept hearing no, no, no. It went with me every step of the way, to the point of being made fun of because I went to Neiman Marcus headquarters with this old backpack as my presentation bag. Now, with the Sarah Blakely Foundation, every woman we send to college or help start a business receives a lucky red backpack. They're usually more excited about that than the money, which I totally get. The backpack is a symbol of their potential.”

THE BIGGEST RISK

This year Sara Blakely became the youngest female Billionaire in the world, with Spanx generating over $250 million in annual revenue. Sara puts this down to her sheer determination:

"The biggest risk in life is not risking. Every risk you take in life is in direct proportion to the reward. If I'm afraid of something, it's the next thing I have to go do. That's just the way I've been."

What are your big dreams? Where are your greatest risks?

Get your own lucky charm on your back, cut off the feet of whatever is holding you back, turn on the music and take the path that Sara took.

Today, 41 year-old Sara makes many speeches to inspire other entrepreneurs, and even the song she uses to get in her zone is the anthem to failure. As she says - “Eminem's 'Lose Yourself' is my go-to song to pump myself up if I'm having a tough time or if I get really nervous right before a speech.”

Now that she’s a billionare, her mission is “World Butt Domination” through Spanx and supporting women through her foundation, which has donated $17.5 million to charities supporting girls and women in South Africa.

Her failure has meant her wealth has come with humility, which is a different kind of wealth: “I feel like money makes you more of who you already are. If you’re an a**hole, you become a bigger a**hole. If you’re nice, you become nicer. Money is fun to make, fun to spend and fun to give away.”

Use Sara's story to inspire your day: Lose yourself and win the game.

Dynamic-Transformation / Building Your Future

Dynamic-Transformation is a different thing entirely from change.  It doesn't take the past and change it, add to it or re-organise it.  It creates a new context.  Possibilities that didn't exist now come into being.  The future is built on possibility.  The future is constant. 

If we carry our past with us into the future, we are limiting the amount of space we have in our future because it is taken up with the past we bring into it.  If what we have in our future is our past, our future is going to be consistent with what we had in our past.

If we can take the past OUT of our future, we create an empty space which we can fill with all manner of possibilities and opportunities that are not governed or linked to any past activity. If you do not empty out your past from your future right now then all you are doing is changing your past.

Childhood experiences that have been traumatic.  It can be one experience that was big enough to be traumatic, or a series of experiences.

An example would be: If you have been bullied at school, it's probably not the one time but more likely a period of bullying over time.  That begins to shape who you are, and who you need to be, to become, to survive.  You can't do much at the time about that but you have to do something to defend yourself.  And that leads you into continuing to be that person who has built up defence mechanisms to deal with bullying but at some point you have to find a way to take that past OUT of your future and put it back IN the past.

We all have excess baggage.  We carry it around in our heads.  It's there even when we don't see it.
We are concerned about excess baggage when we go on vacation.  We don't want it then, so we weigh our bags to make sure we are below the requirement.  Trouble is, we carry it around at all other times.

At any given moment of any given day, we reference the excess baggage for information.  Even worse than that, we carry it into our future.  We expect to be able to function and plan and build strategies for a brighter future when we carry our past around with us.

I am not talking about forgetting your past, or where you come from, or your history, or the people in it...

I am talking about today being the day when you stop paying for your bags of excess baggage, and go forward with your hands open to grasp the opportunities that will come your way.

You CANNOT grab opportunity if your hands are full!!

We human beings don't leave the past in the past.  We have the past in the future. When you do that it appears as if the past gives you who you are, and who you are in the present.

Lets imagine the past and the future as two filing cabinets.

If you take the past out of the filing cabinet marked FUTURE, and put it in the filing cabinet marked PAST, what have you got in the FUTURE?  NOTHING!  Which is wonderful. Fantastic!!!!

Why?

Because if, WHO I AM in the present, is determined by the future into which I am living, I can CREATE a future for myself that gives me, in the present, a life of being, joy, happiness, accomplishment...a life worth living.

I will be launching the Dynamic-Transformation Seminar dates soon....and at the seminar you will discover just HOW to empty that future filing cabinet, HOW to take the past out of your future and HOW to free up the potential for your future self.

Undercover Boss Vs Visible Leader

Whether it is a failing of mine or not, I had never seen a program called 'Undercover Boss' before. I had heard of it, but had never sat thru an episode to see what it was all about.

To be quite frank, I thought it was about the head of a company going to look at OTHER companies, the competition, to see what they were doing. That may sound ludicrous to many people reading this but in Sales, that happens. Maybe not the Boss but certainly sometimes you get someone come along answering an advertisement for staff and you take them on, train them up, give them all manner of resources like pitches and details about the company, even so far as giving them access to databases and then, one day...they are gone! They never show up again. They don't write, call or send flowers. It was a scouting trip. A reconnaissance mission for information.  It happens and is an occupational hazard.

I heard a story once of someone who had done just that.  They had arrived at an advertising company in London and had told them they had experience so their training was minimal. This was a spy from another ad agency.  They got a desk and a phone.  They started work.  During the first few days they got all the paperwork and all the information. In fact, they stayed there for two weeks because they had made a few sales and the company paid weekly by check, which the salespeople took to the companies bank and cashed them by arrangement..  On the Friday, once they had cashed their check, they decided to bail out.  They had taken paperwork home the night before and had everything on a memory stick.  They gave some excuse about going to Starbucks to get a coffee.  Suddenly, EVERYONE in the sales room wanted coffee. The order ended up as 9 cappuccino, 6 Latte, 5 Americano.  So another guy went with the spy to Starbucks.  Naturally, everyone paid up first.  Average coffee price in the UK: £2.50/ £3.00.  Many of the salespeople handed over a £5 note and expected change when they got back.  The two guys, the Spy and his helper, went to Starbucks with over £80 in cash.

Naturally, when they got to Starbucks the Spy gave the helper the paper with the order on it and went to the mensroom.  Never to be seen again.  He got the paperwork, the information, he got paid in cash and he got an £80 tip in cash.  The salespeople are STILL waiting for their coffee.

So with that in mind, going undercover, calling up other companies for information, sending an agent behind enemy lines, it all happens in the UK.

I was amazed at 'Undercover Boss' because this is the head of a company, and I admit that some of them are quite large, going undercover in their OWN company.

I can't believe that they could, even with make up and a disguise. pull this off.  What struck me more than that was this....

Why would you need to go 'undercover' in your own company to find out who, what, where, when and why about your business?

When I was the Sales Manager and the National Sales Trainer for Cable London/ Telewest/ Comcast I was never in my office.  I went out and saw people, I pitched up in offices and found a desk and a phone and worked there.  I got a feel for everything.  I was approached all the time, I was known, I was visible.

I couldn't have gone 'Undercover' no matter WHAT the disguise. 

The reason?  I think the clue is in the title.  Undercover BOSS!

Leaders cannot work undercover.  They can't function undercover.  Leaders lead alongside their people. 

Bosses are unknown and faceless.

Leaders are obvious, and recognizable.  That's why people follow Leaders, they recognize them.

Female Leadership

 

Over the 25 years that I have been in sales and consulting I have always noticed how difficult it was for any woman in a position of any semblance of authority.  Not only getting there but in dealing with the day to day agenda that being a woman can attract from 'colleagues'

In direct Sales, which is a tough, in your face, no holds barred, environment the level of sexism is high.  It is not as bad as it was in the 80's and 90's thankfully but it is still there.

I have never understood why the question arises about 'women having the right to be in charge, or get promoted etc.  Women have just as much right as anyone to be in a leadership position but a lot of the old 'dinosaur' managers and salespeople would want to make you think otherwise.

I have heard of and seen a few very competent and capable women be turned down for a sales job thru fear.  Not theirs; but the fear of the man recruiting them.  They were far, far more capable than any of the other candidates.  I checked the recruitment system of a major blue chip sales company in London once and when I saw the candidates that had been turned down for the role, and compared them with the candidates that had been employed, I was shocked.

I wasn't shocked at the decision after I heard the conversation that had taken place after the interviews.  the manager that had been interviewing had conducted the interview with his area Manager. 

The Area Manager had told him, "I agree that she is the best candidate but use your head.  She is married and 24 years old with no kids.  You are targeted for 12 members of your team.  She could get pregnant at any time and then have a year off at full pay and benefits and you have to make up the numbers.  She is probably looking for a job like this so she can do just that.  Are you prepared to cover for her for a year?"

There are worse stories than that, believe me. 

Door to door saleswomen being told to wear short skirts and unbutton their tops more so that they get attention and gain interest from the potential customers who open the door.

Derogatory remarks made about women at Director level.  Sexist remarks made during meetings.  Its a point scoring thing which, in every time I have heard it, I have called the perpetrator on their bullshit.  I don't want to hear it.  I don't think it fair.  It's unnecessary and quite frankly, as a man, I don't want to be associated with other men who behave like it.  It is unprofessional and not the kind of thing a leader or anyone who wanted to be a leader would think was correct behaviour.

There is always banter, and practical jokes and a few laughs to be had in any work environment but there is a line.

In this day and age there should be NO difference between a male leader and a female leader.  They are LEADERS.  They do their job, they do it with integrity, they do it with authenticity, and they do it brilliantly.  If they dont' it's because they did something wrong, it's not because they are a woman or a man. 

The more we can encourage women to make a name for themselves in business the better.  BUT we don't want anyone to go into business BECAUSE they are a woman.  I don't believe we should recruit women because we 'need a few to make it look good'.  People, whether they are male or female, should be employed, mentored, coached, and promoted thru a company because of what they can do, not what they are.

Autopilot Responses...

So many people walk around on Autopilot. So many people have an Autopilot response to questions or situations.

In the Seduction Community, STILL headed by it's creator Ross Jeffries, one of the main tenets is, 'Never take a first response as written in stone. It's just an autopilot response and it is also something to play with.'

It's just a response that emanates from where that person is right now.'

What do you say to a Big Issue seller?
What do you say to Jehovahs Witnesses?
What do you say to a clipboard carrying student grinning maniacally at you in a shopping center?

What do you say to yourself in day to day situations?

How many times have you pitched a product or service only to hear, 'we are not interested!' That's just a weak, pointless, gutless, cop-out of an autopilot response.

All objections are state related.
Some of the state related objections are autopilot responses.

If you want examples of Autopilot responses ask for a regular size quarter pounder meal in McDonalds and you will be asked. 'Is that a large meal?'

Ask for a portion of fries and you will be asked, 'Do you want fries with that?'

I had builders working in my home and deciding to buy the 6 of them lunch, and being a very classy kind of guy, I drove to McDonalds. Remember this...
1.It was empty.
2.The car park was empty.
3. Two staff behind the counter watched me get out of the MooreMobile and walk in alone.

"Hi, can I have three quarter pounder with cheese meals, all with Cokes. Two Big-Mac meals with Fanta orange and a Chicken Sandwich meal with a Lemonade. Also can I have 6 Apple Pies please."

And then auto pilot took over and the girl asked, "Is that to eat here?"

I considered a barrage of answers but settled for, "Do you REALLY think that would be possible for me?"

Coming to her senses she shook her head and laughed.

It's dangerous to think that sometimes people are walking around on this Autopilot setting. Worse, are the ones who are driving!

How many times have you driven somewhere and not remembered the journey?
How many times have you driven your usual route to work only to realise that THAT was the day you were going somewhere else on the way to work first?

If you catch yourself responding to something in the same way you have always done, think for a second. What would happen IF you did something different?

The lights may be on but...is anyone at home in your head?

Disengage it!

Kate Nasser - Leaders, Are You Helpfully Objective or Actually Indifferent?

Leaders claim objectivity is valuable in preventing emotionally skewed decisions. Yet if objectivity is actually indifference or even comes across that way, results from disengaged employees suffer terribly.

Leaders, are you helpfully objective or actually indifferent?

 

Click HERE to read the full post by
 

Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach™

 Or click on the link to Kate's website on the left

Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

Emotional Intelligence

I am about to turn this EQ and IQ debate on its head!

What really is EQ, IQ and IC?

Your EQ is more important than your IQ. The IQ test may help you get a job but your EQ will help you keep it. A high IQ is around 135. A high EQ is immeasurable.

It is no surprise that there are many people with really high IQ’s working for people with really low IQ’s. The people with the low IQ also have a high EQ, Emotional Quotient, and this makes them the real leaders. They know how to get people to work together.  They know how to put teams, groups and companies together.  They get people to work with people

The high EQ people know how the whole game is played and they draw the best out of their people and they are not afraid to have the more ‘intelligent’ working for them.

Of course, the people with the high IQ know how long it takes two men to fill up a bath with water using a pint glass halfway up a mountain in a thunderstorm but...that’s not going to improve business is it?

What would improve business?

Being the person who has the EQ skills to get the two guys to fill a bath with water halfway up a mountain in a thunderstorm in the first place!

Now although that is a great description of what EQ and IQ is (even if I say so myself ;-)) there is another definition of EQ, IQ and IC ("IC? What's THAT?" I hear you ask). What's more...it's probably the most important and life changing definition there is.

What if you are working at a company and things are not going your way. Or you may be doing something in your life but you just can't get it right. You can't achieve what you want to achieve. Do you give up? Do you continue to 'try' (yuck! I hate that word) but in your mind and heart you know that you have given up?

This is the new IQ in the world today. So many people IQ (I Quit). What's more, they have no idea how near to success they are when they quit!

Are you the only person in your company, business, life, relationship that thinks IQ? I bet not. You see, it's contagious!

Like a virus it infects everyone until, before you know it, unconsciously, EQ (Everyone Quits!).

Commit to one thing, if you commit to nothing else, commit to this...

IC! This is the belief you need. Your IQ and your EQ is blown away by this.

IC = I Can!

Your IC level (I CAN) is always more important than the IQ (I QUIT)level and will stop the rot of EQ (Everyone Quits) in its tracks. Defeat will never be an option. So when logic is trying to point out all the excuses and reasons tell that little voice in your head that keeps telling you that you will fail, you will not succeed and you are useless to shut the hell up.

Say to yourself: My IC is unbeatable. IC. I CAN!

Dan Forbes has added ANOTHER alternative: IW for I WILL.  This is Determination. As Dan says, "All the smarts in the world, and all the hopes in the world will not accomplish what someone with sheer determination will".

As for the words you use, I prefer IM = I MUST! When you see things as a 'I MUST' then you become UNSTOPPABLE!

 Check out Bad vs Strong language here: Bad Vs Strong Language


Some Secret huh?

Not unless you get off your ass
and do something it won't!!!!

I don't want to rain on any parade regarding the Law of Attraction but something really bothers me about the whole 'The Secret' industry.

I think the only people who are making any money out of using 'The Secret' are the people IN 'The Secret'.

I wonder how many people have crashed and burned after 'thinking positive' and 'asking' for what they want? How many people are still waiting for the knock on the door from someone delivering their request? Waiting for their lottery numbers to come up. Waiting for the new car. Still looking for that parking space.

The people who are getting a large monthly input into their bank accounts are the people in the Secret.

What's more, the Secret has raised another challenge. The word 'secret' is now a buzzword bandied about to make you buy other products. I know, I know: we all like to know a secret but...
...take a look at Amazon....

I just typed in 'secret to sales...' and I can see 2,642 books with some permutation of SECRET in the title.

There IS no 'secret' to sales. The answer is very simple. And it is something many salespeople forget to do. You can have all the answers and all the techniques and all the confidence you want but you have to remember one thing...you have to ASK FOR THE SALE!

You would be amazed at how many salespeople I have listened to on the phone and sat next to in peoples homes. I have heard some of them talk and talk, sell and sell, and seen a potential customer switch off. The salesperson talked the person OUT of the sale and....you guessed it...nothing was sold. They forgot to ask for the sale.

There is no secret to selling. It is common sense but now we have so many books on the subject with 'the SECRET to...' in the title it's madness!!!

The issue I have with The Law of Attraction as portrayed in The Secret is that it bangs on and on about 'asking for what you want' but gives the impression that that's all you do. You then sit and wait and, lo and behold, it arrives. That is BS!

Let's break The Law of Attraction down. In fact lets just break down the word ATTRACTION.

Can you see a six letter word at the end of that word?

ACTION.

Yep, you have to DO something to get something. You have to take action to receive what you want. You can't just sit back and wait for your special delivery. You order it and then you do something to make it happen. You take action to make it real. You do it yourself. The Universe just helps you out. THAT is what it does.

Remember, when you think the universe is not working for you, get the hell out of its way, let it do its thing. Don't be the obstacle of your own success.

I am a firm believer that everything is attainable and that you can have ANYTHING that you want but unfortunately, many people who watched The Secret think and believe that all you have to do is ask, write it down, believe that you already have it and, miraculously, it will appear. WRONG!

You have to take steps, take action, to make this happen. You have to give SOMETHING in order for the universe to deliver.

Lets put it like this.

Every week a man goes to church and prays for God to help him.
"Dear Lord I have no money, no job, a wife and family to feed, Please Lord let me win the lottery this week."
This happens each week for 6 weeks. The man does not win. He starts to become disillusioned, losing his faith, and starts to believe that no one is listening.
On that final prayer he says, "Dear Lord, please please let me win the lottery. I am destitute and have nothing. Please let me win the lottery"
SUDDENLY, there is a flash of lightning, a loud clap of thunder and clouds form over the church. The roof of the church parts and a blinding light shines down on the man and then, through the clouds and the smoke he hears a voice...
"Jim, meet me half way...BUY A LOTTERY TICKET!"

If you are waiting for opportunity to knock on your door, keep waiting. Do something to show opportunity where you live and that you are at home. You do it with Amazon! You do it with everything else you order online!! Make sure you do something to make it happen and be ready to receive. If you don't, you might find what you were waiting for has been left with a neighbour!

Reset or Reboot in 2013? NEITHER!

The answer is: UPGRADE!

But first...

Stop!
Don't fall for it.

Don't fall for New Year Resolutions.

Think about it....where are you right now?  I don't mean your location on the grid or where you are in your home or office but where are you in LIFE?

Are you happy in that location or....yeah right.

So you assume that this is the time to change your life, go for what you really want, and get the life you want.

Didn't you say that last year?

And the year before that?

Do I need to write that sentence again?

There is a definition of madness or insanity which is: doing the same thing again and again expecting a different result.

I admit we all do it..."I am going to: drink less, exercise more, eat healthier, watch less TV, spend more time with family yadda yadda yadda...."

After a while....we slip back to our default setting.  We have all the best intentions but its not enough.

It seems to me that the reason we fail so epically sometimes on resolutions is that we are throwing a behaviour or desire into a mix where it cannot survive.  I knew someone who had a very large fishtank.  he ordered fish from all over the world because he liked their color or shape(!) He never, ever, thought about whether they were compatible with each other.  He bought a lot of fish.  In the end, he had hardly any, because some ate others, some killed others, some just died thru being in the wrong mix.

Resolutions are like that.  We have to change a lot more than just ONE behaviour to make our life better.

If you reset or reboot your life then all you are doing is tidying up and streamlining.  it's good, and it works to some extent but it doesn't bring the big rewards that you deserve.

The only way to truly advance, to move forward and be a person who does stuff that you never did before is to go for the UPGRADE.

If you upgrade you are saying to the world, the universe and everyone in it 'That was me THEN.  This is me NOW.  The New, Enhanced, Future-proof version of me.'

If you attempt to run the latest version of MSWord on a previous version of Office you are in for a surprise.  For one thing, the upgraded version cant be run on the old software and secondly, it won't recognise the document.

If you try to play a Blue-Ray DVD on a basic DVD player....no chance.

All of those examples will work the other way around though. 
The upgraded MSWord will upgrade the older document so it can be read. 
The Blue-Ray DVD will play an older DVD.

Why? Because it is the more powerful version of the old version.

The Upgraded you can still relate and interact with whatever you choose to from your past but to move forward you need to upgrade yourself and step into the future right now.

You must upgrade everything around you, important to you, loved by you, used by you, into the new mindset and decide right now that you are no longer going to be that person who 'settled' and 'accepted' what was handed to you.  You are now going to go out and get what you want, do what you want, be what you want with and for who you want.

Want to start a new business - do it.
Want to add a few zeros to your bank balance - do it.
Want to travel- do it.
Want to be happy- do it.
Want to make 2013 your best year and the start of everything- Do it!!

Don't just do one thing, do a lot.  Do them well.  Grab every opportunity that comes your way.  If opportunity doesn't come your way, go and find it.  Surprise it.

You have every single resource you need to achieve what you want inside you.  You have the key.  the key is the desire, the will, to change.  Decide to make that change, that upgrade, and use the skills that you have that have lay dormant inside you, untapped until now.

Life does not get better by chance, luck, resolutions or hope...it gets better by CHANGE.

Make 2013 the year of CHANGE, the year of YOUR change, and I will see YOU at the top!

It's 2013

Happy New Year to all my followers and readers, wherever you are.
All the very best from me and all at The Moore Consortium and Dynamic-Life Academy.