Tuesday, 31 October 2006

Happy Halloween

Lock your doors...bolt your windows...and shit yourself!!!

Should you be afraid of Michael Myers???


Oh Yes!!

Flying without...a clue? A plan? An idea? A hope?

If you put your mind to it, you can do anything.

The thing about flying is that it is possible for anyone. Anyone can do it.

It was the late, great, Douglas Adams who said, "The secret to flying is simple...you just throw yourself at the floor...and miss!"

Anyone who says 'I can fly, I can fly...' when they jump off a building is absolutely right; but not for long. Gravity has a tendency of getting in the way of things like that. You have no idea of how that can impact.

Heres a pic of a Facilitator [pron: fat-silly-tater] who decided that he too could fly like an eagle only to crash and burn.

In some instances, it's best not to reach for the stars...you'll see plenty when you hit rock bottom.

Friday, 27 October 2006

Deja Moo - A Feeling You Have Heard That Bull Before

10 Steps You Can Take To Guarantee Failure
In the hustle and bustle of this technologically packed world you may decide you really don’t want to achieve any lasting success in your lifetime. Sure, you can find a lot of strategies and tips here that can help you increase your success rate. But what about the people who are perfectly happy not achieving anything? So this is for all the people who want to have goals but not achieve them.

1. Make your goals vague - When setting your goals, use adjectives such as “more” and “some.” Goals like “I want to make more money” or “I want to lose some weight” virtually guarantee your progress will be minimal. Be as wishy-washy as possible.

2. Make your goals difficult to visualize - A good way to do this is to keep changing your mind on the details of your goal. If you are thinking a goal such as: “I want to own a red, blue or yellow Lexus or just a BMW”, then you are definitely on the right track. If you kept that goal planted firmly in your mind, you are virtually guaranteed you’ll never go above a used Skoda.

3. Think and speak negatively about your goals - Try using words like “I can’t” and “It’s too hard”. Goals such as “I can’t get a promotion, It’s too hard to take on more responsibility” will certainly keep you at the bottom of the food chain.

4. Avoid planning incremental steps - Take a goal - even a specific goal like “I will double my income by this time next year”. Then simply leave it as-is. Don’t write down any tasks or steps you’ll need to complete in order to achieve it. Just consider the goal a wish and nothing more. Creating a step-by-step plan will only confuse matters because it’s all too easy to take action on simple steps. Action in the direction of your goal would lead to success and you definitely don’t want that.

5. Don’t Do - Talk - Because talk is easier than action, this step is one of the easiest steps for you to take. Try to fill up as much of your day with socializing as possible. Talk about all the things you will do someday or that you were gonna do. Just make sure you don’t mess it up by doing anything productive. Action is your enemy. Embrace your excuses!

6. Wait until you are motivated - Let’s face it, it’s much too difficult to go jogging or open a business account when you simply don’t feel like it. So just wait. Waiting gives you the peace of mind that someday, you might do something. But not yet, the timing isn’t right and you aren’t motivated anyway.

7. Don’t set a date - Setting a date when you expect to achieve your goal is too much pressure. Who needs it? Definitely not you if you want to avoid progress. You know that goals with dates get done, so by not setting a date you avoid making a commitment. You can keep putting off stuff.

8. List why it’s impossible - Now we are getting into the mental game of failing. This is quite possibly your greatest weapon against achievement because it destroys hope and optimism. So as soon as possible, set aside some time to create a long list of how impossible your goal really is. No matter what your target is, I am sure you can come up with plenty of reasons why it’s impossible. Be creative, make up some if you have to.

9. Don’t research your goal - You’re the kind of person who likes to “wing it.” Reading about how others have succeeded achieving a goal similar to you is just a waste of time. Instead of standing on their shoulders, they should be standing on yours! Sure, they might have overcome unbelievable odds to get from homelessness to CEO or 450lbs to 180lbs - but they were probably just “lucky” anyway. Don’t read anything that promises to help you get to your destination.

10. Think of anything except your goal - Here’s another mental strategy that will put you on the fast track to failure. Think of anything except for your goal. Why visualize success when there are plenty of clouds and TV repeats to think about? And while you’re at it, take action on these flights of fancy instead of your goal. Take the easy path, that’s the only way you can fail in record time.

To conclude, I know you might be a bit overwhelmed with all the work you have to do to avoid reaching your goal. You might even think it’s even more work. Never fear! You can do it. Print out a copy and hang it on your bathroom mirror. Post it in your office. Read it every day. Internalize these principals and you can reach depths of failure you have possibly never imagined!


Another resource BUT....
...Drum Roll...
This one works!
Unbelieveable stuff.
Use it, pass it on and watch your sales rocket!!


Wednesday, 25 October 2006

29.5 Whines from Jeffrey Gitomer

The 29.5 Biggest Sales Whines (And how to stop drinking from the wrong cup!)

Sometimes salespeople whine. And like all wines (whines), some are fine, but most are common. Below are the finest sales whines. Most of them are vintage, and they’re all worth a fortune -- if you can get rid of them. You can call them common complaints by common salespeople (not you of course).

Pick out your favorites. Pick the ones that apply to you. Then slap yourself in the face as you realize you had the answer all along.

Here are the 29.5 biggest sales whines:
1. I got beat on price (again). That would be your fault. The customer perceived no difference between you and the competition, and no value beyond the product; therefore, “price” was all that mattered.

2. The prospect went with someone else at a higher price. Proof that lowest price doesn’t matter. Value and relationship will win the order AND the profit.

3. I had to bid through a purchasing agent. You were too chicken, or unprepared, to meet with the boss (who, by-the-way, tells the purchasing agent what to do).

4. The buyer won’t decide. You have not created enough of a value proposition to interest the customer enough to act TODAY.

5. I can’t create a sense of urgency. Who’s fault is that? Talk to the customer about lost profit and greater productivity INSTEAD of offering to cut your price (like a fool).

6. My product is becoming a commodity. What are you selling? Pigs? Oil? Corn? Those are commodities, Sparky. Your product has value, and it’s up to you to prove it. Besides, your customer didn’t tell you that your product was a commodity, you told yourself so many times that you actually believe it.

7. The competition is beating us by lowering their price. Whenever you get beat on price, it means you were perceived as the same and price was all that mattered.

8. The competition stole one of our big accounts. That’s because they can. Whenever you lose a customer to a lower price, it means you were vulnerable to lose them. Find the REAL REASON before you start losing more of them.

9. The prospect won’t give me an appointment. No, you haven’t established enough rapport or interest to earn one. You’re begging or selling; try engaging and gaining interest with questions about them.

10. The customer lied to me. Usually the lie is about money, or it’s pitting you against a competitor, or both. If you are CERTAIN you know it to be true, confront them with a question, NOT an accusation.

11. I can’t get to the decision maker. That’s because you started your encounter too low. If you find out the decision maker is NOT the person you’re talking to, immediately request a meeting with all three parties and learn the lesson for the next prospect you want to sell.

12. The customer or prospect wouldn’t return my call. Why? Because you gave them no reason to, that’s why. You were just calling to see if the money was ready, and disguised it as a courtesy call. Give them a solid reason and they’ll call you.

13. Our sales cycle is too long. That’s because you’re dealing with influencers, not decision makers. CEO’s decide in two minutes. There’s a clue.

14. My company doesn’t support my sales effort. Meet with your CEO and ask his or her assistance. If you don’t get the meeting or the assistance, find another job.

15. Company policies fight the sales effort. Just make more sales, don’t worry about policies or politics. If the situation is unbearable or untenable, find another job.

16. My company cut my earnings or cut my commissions. Find another job. They’ll keep cutting.

17. My company cut my territory. Find another job. They’ll keep cutting it.

18. My company made my biggest account a house account. Find another job. They’ll keep doing it.

19. My company can’t deliver on time. Meet with the CEO and resolve it, NOT production or shipping.

20. My company won’t buy me the tools I need. You have your own money now, buy them yourself.

21. Our training sucks. Meet with the training department. They really want to help, but are sometimes unaware of your day-to-day needs. Make sure they have customized sales training, not generic. And make sure that there are courses on presentation skills, positive attitude, and customer loyalty. If not contact david@david-moore.co.uk

22. Our service sucks. Work in the service department for a few days. Write down all the reasons customers call – then, and only then, can you get to best practices.

23. I hate my job. Find out why. Become the BEST salesperson in the company. Then quit. Leave on TOP. If you quit too soon, you’ll go to the next place blaming, instead of bragging.

24. I hate my boss. Previous answer applies.

25. No one in the company likes the sales team. Switch jobs for a day or two. Walk in each other’s shoes, sit in each other’s chairs. Mutual respect will follow.

26. My sales plan (quota, goal) is not realistic. Goals and quotas are set for the “mediocre” level of salesperson.

27. I don’t have time to… Yes you do, you’re just not prioritizing it. Substitute television for pre-call planning.

28. They don’t pay me enough to… Yes they do. You just didn’t understand that YOU have to do things to better yourself.

29. I need balance. If you’re not working out of balance, your checkbook will be. Take a weekend and relax. Then get back to (hard) work.

29.5 Quit your whining. I just gave you the real-world answers to 29 whines. They basically boil down to this strategy: If you spent as much time selling as you do whining, you’d be a millionaire.


Tuesday, 24 October 2006

Life in the 1500's - Thanks to Maureen Pinwill in Jersey

Life in the 1500's...Interesting!

The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be. Here are some facts about life in the 1500's:

These are interesting...

Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and still smelled pretty good by June. However, they were starting to smell, so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.

Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water."

Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and off the roof. Hence the saying "It's raining cats and dogs."

There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence.

The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence the saying "dirt poor."

The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw on floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until when you opened the door it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entranceway. Hence the saying, "thresh hold."
(Getting quite an education, aren't you?)
In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while. Hence the rhyme, "Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old."

Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quitespecial. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show offIt was a sign of wealth that a man could "bring home the bacon." They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and "chew the fat."

Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.

Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or "upper crust."

Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a "wake."

England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a "bone-house" and re-use the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the "graveyard shift") to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be "saved by the bell" or was considered a "dead ringer."

And that's the truth... Now, whoever said that History was boring ??!!
Educate someone...Share these facts with a friend

The Art of Listening

Recently, I met with a client, who was concerned that his wife tells him regularly that he is not listening to her when they have a "conversation". This was causing a great deal of stress in the relationship. I paid ATTENTION and became AWARE of his patterns. He was going inside and deep in his own thoughts. He confirmed this verbally. So, I gave him the following simple and basic suggestions:

  1. Avoid thinking about or formulating your response while the other person is speaking. (Which he admitted doing)
  2. Avoid arguing mentally
  3. Avoid analysing their statements. (He said he did this also)
  4. Avoid mind reading and taking comments personally. Simply ask them, "What do you mean?
  5. Shut off your worries. Stay in a positive state of mind. Your fellow communicator will notice the non-verbal messages and you will lose connection with them.
  6. Especially in our UK society, we like eye contact. When we are de-focusing our eyes, stuck at ear level, or looking away, it can mean to the speaker that you are not with them…not listening. So look at them. Acknowledge them.

Respond to their communication with occasional interjections like "yes", "I see", "I agree", etc.
My client followed these simple suggestions. He told me that his wife noticed it right away and their conversations are now really conversations. He marvels at how much more pleasant their interactions are, and how much nicer she is to be around.

The bottom line...and I have said this before...the letters in LISTEN spell the word SILENT!!

When you ask a question...Shut the fuck up!!


Thursday, 5 October 2006

Having the nerve to send an email like this = Priceless

I sent an email proposal confirming a conversation to a PB and received this reply..

----- Original Message -----
Sent: Wednesday, October 04, 2006 5:30 PM
Subject: RE: Commonwealth Today

Hi David,

I’ve discussed this with one of our directors. Unfortunately we don’t have an advertising budget and are unable to pay for editorial pieces. Please let me know if there is something that we can do which doesn’t require payment.

Kind regards,


How many would have filed that one in the bin?
This is my response…

Sent: Wednesday, October 04, 2006 8:37 PM
Subject: RE: Commonwealth Today


In answer to your question...yes, there are many things that you can do which do not require payment.

Comb your hair
Walk around the streets
Watch TV (if it is paid for, otherwise use someone elses)
Perform the second act of Hamlet (or some other favourite) in the privacy of your home
Jump up and down
Smile at strangers
Read a newspaper you have found
Stroke a dog
Kick a ball
Kick a dog
Play on the swings in the park
Wave at someone
Leap out in front of oncoming traffic
Sweep a floor
Listen to music
Point at random things
Do the hokey cokey
Rearrange the furniture (do not turn on the light)
Receive a phone call
Open an umbrella
Close an umbrella
Admire a painting
Sniff a flower
Steal something
Trip over something
Make shapes out of clouds
Stand on one leg
Cut your own hair
Listen to things
Blow your nose
Give up smoking
Give up drinking
Give up
Get undressed
Go to bed
Get up in the morning
Do it all again

The list is virtually endless. Please have a laugh and feel free to add your own ideas and pass it on.

Unfortunately...NONE of those things will position you in front of 8904 MP's and 1000 Institutional Investors in a high level publication that will increase the your business like Commonwealth Today will!

If your directors see that by speculating they will accumulate massive rewards, like other companies have done, then let me know and we will see what we can do.

Best wishes


I then get this

Sent: Thursday, October 05, 2006 9:30 AM
Subject: RE: Commonwealth Today

Hi David

Thanks for your email. It was funny and I showed it to my VP of Marketing. Now my Director thinks that we should be working with you!!
You are right, it is a question of spending money to get money back and I must admit that I didn’t see it that way. I have tried to call you but your lines are engaged. Please call me and so we can tie up the loose ends.

Kind regards


Having the balls to tell it like it is...Priceless