Friday, 31 July 2015

Half Empty or Half Full?

In looking at this photograph, what question do you think I am going to ask you?

Remember, I am a Psychologist, NLP trainer and Transformation trainer so what question about a glass that has an amount of water in it could I possibly ask you?....

No! Not that one....(Have I ever been THAT obvious?) 

I know the question 'is it half full or half empty' is a great way of determining if someone is an optimist or a pessimist but then I always subscribe to the alternative version and that is, while the optimist and pessimist argued about it, the realist drank it!

I sometimes hold up a glass of water like this in seminars and I see the reaction from the crowd as one of 'not that old chestnut again?' but then they are surprised by my question...so here it is for you...

How heavy do you think that glass of water is?

Truth is, it really doesn't matter how heavy it is...it's how long you hold on to it that matters.

If I hold onto it for a minute it isn't a problem.
If I hold onto it for an hour I may get a little arm or shoulder ache.
If I hold onto it for a day then my arm is going to feel dead and paralyzed.
If I hold onto it forever, and an opportunity comes along I will never see the opportunity because I am focusing on the glass.  What's more, I won't be able to grasp opportunity because my hand is already holding on to something...maybe something I don't need to keep holding on to!

In all those cases, the weight of the glass does not change, but the longer I hold onto it, the heavier it becomes.  It becomes a dead weight because my strength is debilitated and my focus cannot be 100% fixed on anything else. 

The stresses and worries you have in life are just like that glass.
Any grudges or complaints you have are just like that glass also.

Think about them for a while and there's no problem but if you think about them for longer then they will become painful.  Think about them for a day or so and you will begin to feel paralyzed by them and they will take over your whole life.

It is important to remember to let go.  Let go of your anger, your hatred, your confusion, your complaints, your grudges.  Put your burdens down as soon as you can.

I met someone who had a dental appointment a few weeks later and they told me they were worried.
Another friend told me they were worried in case they got bad news from their doctor.
Another told me they were worried about how the job interview had gone.
Another had applied for a loan and was worried about being turned down.

In all those cases I asked two simple questions.  Two questions that I have been told are so shocking to the person that they cannot come up with a rational answer.  I now have philosophy teachers, Psychology students, clients, telling me the simplicity is brilliant but then again, I think the questions are obvious....

Each time I have been told by someone they are worried about something I always ask...

"Has worrying about something in the past ever EVER changed the outcome?"
The answer is always, once they analyse it, no...
"Then why do you worry?"
And then...silence......

We can be caring, we can be concerned but our worry does one thing only, it makes US feel bad.

Remember to put that glass down!  Let go.

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