Monday, 24 August 2015

Words to Avoid

DISCLAIMER
Bad or Strong Language?

Well, there is a difference.

In my seminars I make the same disclaimer each time, as you can see on the right:

OK, so occasionally the 'F Bomb' is let off (not just by me but by the attendees when they are confronted by things they have denied) but that doesn't mean that the language is bad, just strong.

There are reasons why it is strong:
I want you to remember a specific thing.
I want to shock you.
I want to shake you.
I really mean this.

There is also a reason why I deliberately say things that are not grammatically correct.  It is so that your conscious mind coughs on it, allowing my message to slip in and go into your unconscious mind.  Sometimes, to get a message across we have to resort to sleight of mouth techniques.

So what constitutes bad language?  Look at these words.  If you use any of these you must eliminate them from your vocabulary.  They do not serve you well.

You fill in the blanks....

B_T
T_Y
PER_ _PS
M_ _BE


Ok...

BUT!
Kick that but out of your life.  No one wants to hear your 'but' go off! ;-)

TRY!
Yeah great, that's a real empowering word.  Whoever wrote 'if at first you don't succeed, try, try, try again' wrote a great mantra to recite for failure.  If I told you I would 'try' and get over to see you tonight, you KNOW I wont be coming.  It's a cop out!

PERHAPS!
Another version of try...trust me, if someone says this to you....it ain't happening.

MAYBE!
This is a vague word.  It's almost the same as try and perhaps but maybe is neither one thing or another.  If you are asked something and you respond with maybe then you are sending a message that 'You don't know'!  People want certainty.


Now the next four...

PRO_ _EM

L_CK

C_NT

HO_E

Yeah, I know...so here are the real answers...

PROBLEM!
Aaaarrrgghh! The worst of all words.  Any situation that causes concern is now labelled a 'problem'.  There are no such things as 'problems'.  Fact!  A better word would be 'CHALLENGE'.  I used to run firewalk events for charities to raise money (it was very successful)...They were called 'The Firewalk Challenge'.  If they were called 'The Firewalk PROBLEM' no one would sign up or do it.  Turn anything you would consider a problem into something that you can deal with by calling it a challenge.  Down grade that sucker!
When you see 'problems' as hurdles you can leap over them.  They never stop you.  I would much rather watch the 200m hurdles than the 200m problem at the Olympics.  Imagine the starting gun going off and everyone runs 20 meters and then stops at the first 'problem'.  Who would pay the ticket price for THAT?

LUCK!
No such thing.  And if there is, you don't want part of it.  Imagine catching the eye of the pilot as you settle into your seat on a flight to Los Angeles.
You ask, "Hey, I was just wondering.  Looking at all those dials and switches in there, how are you gonna get us to Los Angeles?"
What would you do if the pilot said, "I dunno, maybe we will get lucky"?
That's right, you would be the second person off the plane.  I would be first!
there is no such thing as luck.  You create your own version of luck by the choices you make either consciously or unconsciously.

CAN'T
Anyone telling you that something can't be done is really telling you that they don't know how to do it.  If you look around you now, most of the stuff surrounding you, that you bought, that you use, like TV's-iPads-Mobile Phones-Radios-Computers-Cars-Planes-the list goes on...NONE of that stuff existed at one time because people had no idea how to make them happen.  they thought 'it can't be done'.  People with vision, nerve, belief, invented them.  They didn't listen to can't.  They thought CAN!

HOPE!
Again, something to hold onto.  It's false.  'I hope I win the lottery'  Yeah right, keep hoping.

Choose your words carefully.  Sometimes we say things by accident and we don't realise it's a limiter.  If we KEEP saying it we engage with it and then it becomes a way of life.

Remember, Be Positive may sound like a blood group but its really a way of achieving what you want, and doing what others say can't be done.
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